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Cindy McLennan: B | Grade It Now!
Both Ends Against The Middle

Finally, it's Faucke to the rescue. When he drags Claire off, she screams about Kate taking Aaron. Faucke tells Claire that Kate couldn't find Claire so she did what she had to do. Claire's still screaming, so Faucke bitch slaps her across the face -- so hard that even Kate reels from the force. Like any substitute would, he tells Claire, "This is completely inappropriate," and puts her in a time-out, adding that he'll deal with her in a minute. When he turns to Kate and asks if she's all right, she yells, "NO, I AM NOT ALL RIGHT," in a tone that makes it crystal clear that Faucke better step the hell off. He gives her an inscrutable look, and then walks off to talk to Claire who is still in a big time-out. She's sitting in front of the fire, which people just love to do on this tropical island. Maybe that's how they come down with the sickness. I mean, I can understand sitting fireside at night -- maybe -- but these people are always drenched in their own perspiration. Every time the show ends, I want to go shower.

Hydra Island: Sawyer comes across the plane. It stalled mid-air and Frank landed it on the runway, remember, it didn't crash, so it looks pretty good. When Sawyer walks around it, there seems to be some damage to the underside of the fuselage, including a breach near the right wing. He examines the little camp near the plane, and lays his hands on the burnt-out fire only to discover it is cold. It's then that he notices the drag marks leading off into the brush. Sawyer follows the path to a little clearing, where the smell and the bad CGI flies point the way to the corpses of the Ajira passengers (does it seem like there are too many to you?). He then hears and runs after a woman, who looks like the love child of Liz Lemon and Laura Roslin. When he catches her she says, "I'm the only one left.

L.A. Reality; Cop Shop: Liam Pace is looking for his brother, who was arrested at the airport on a drug charge, but when the desk sergeant leaves him waiting, Liam stops Detective James Ford, who is strutting through the precinct. Jim's all, "Not my department," you all everybody, and keeps walking. He greets Miles with a "'Morning, Sunshine," but Miles isn't nearly so chipper and tells Jim to come with him. Once they're alone, he shoves Jim up against the lockers -- an amusing sight, since Holloway's a bit of a hulk and Leung is not. It's also satisfying, because it wasn't that long ago that Sawyer pushed Miles face down in the dirt -- which struck me then as so demeaning. I didn't give Sawyer crap for it then, because he was obviously grieving Juliet, but since he's now groping Kate's discarded clothing, and this is another reality, I feel free to cheer: GO MILES!

Miles wants to know if there's something Jim wants to tell him. Finally, Jim says, "She opened the wrong drawer." Miles is all, "What?" He has no idea what that's about, which is probably for the best. He just wants to know why Jim said he was going to Palm Springs when he really flew to Australia. Detective that he is, Miles ran a check on Jim's credit cards. "Oceanic. Round-trip. You took flight 815 back, two days ago." First of all -- it's Friday, September 24, 2004, still? Secondly, there goes my flight 518 theory, darn it. Anyhow, the boys have a lover's spat about trust, privacy and lies. Ford tells Miles none of this is his business. Miles says, "You're right, because I'm not your partner any more." Once he stalks off, Jim continues this season's trend of looking in the mirror, and then punches it -- shattering his own reflection into a broken, distorted mess.

Liz Lemon and Laura Roslin's love child says her name is Zoe (Sheila Kelley). She can't believe there's another survivor from her flight. Sawyer says he's not from her flight. He asks what happened to the rest of the survivors. Zoe says she was out collecting wood when she heard screaming. When she came back, everyone was dead. She's spent the last two days dragging their bodies up to the jungle, out of the sun. She asks James if he's alone. He tells her he's with a group of people on the main island and can take her back with him. When Zoe says, "Thank God," Sawyer responds, "Trust me, God has nothing to do with it." Did any other Buffy fans hear Franken-Forrest, just then?

Main Island; Camp Faucke: Kate is sitting in a bamboo stand, crying, when Faucke approaches her. Those bamboo stands always seemed to be a safe place to hide from Smokey, but it doesn't look like they keep out Faucke, more's the pity. Faucke tells Kate it's his fault Claire is so batshit insane. He told her that the Others took Aaron. He claims he wanted to give her an enemy to hate, to keep her going. When Kate revealed that she took Aaron, Claire was all jacked up and had to aim her fury somewhere. Kate says, "Very insightful, coming from a dead man." Faucke says, "Mmm, well, nobody's perfect." Hee. He apologizes to Kate again and thinks if she gives it time, it will be all right. He notes that he promised, before, to keep everyone safe. "That means you too, Kate." Kate changes the subject. "Where did Sawyer go?" Faucke, now standing, holds out his hand to Kate. "I'll show you." She nearly rolls her eyes at him, waits an awkward eternity, and then stands on her own.

Hydra Island: Sawyer goes along with Zoe, for a while, but when she starts asking too many questions (how many of there are you, how many guns,) he makes it clear he's not buying her act. He draws his weapon and aims at her. "You're good sweetheart, but you ain't that good." Zoe's all I totally am that good, but she's not. However, she does have armed reinforcements in the bush (dirty) to make up for her insufficiencies. At her whistle they appear and order Sawyer to drop his weapon and fall to the ground. Once he's on his knees he deadpans, "Take me to your leader."

Main Island; Abandoned Outrigger Beach: When Faucke sits in the sand, Kate reluctantly joins him as he points out Hydra Island and says that's where he sent Sawyer. And if Miles' "DIE... ALONE..." line wins the award for worst delivery, then Kate's, "You could have just told me you sent him to the island where we were locked in cages," wins the exposition fairy FAIL award. Faucke sees what she means, but he also wanted a chance to talk to her alone. First up, he wants to clarify one thing. "I am not a dead man." Secondly, he wants Kate to know that he knows what she's going through. "My mother was crazy. A long time ago, before I...looked like this, I had a mother, just like everyone. She was a very disturbed woman, and as a result of that, I had some growing pains -- problems that I'm still trying to work my way through -- problems that could have been avoided, had things been different." Kate's all and this is relevant to my life how, exactly? Faucke says, "Because now...Aaron...has a crazy mother, too. Kate stares at him, and nods her head almost imperceptibly.

Oh Faucke, you dirty bastard. So, do you think Smokey has a crazy mother? I could see where the Biblical Esau might have mommy issues, and when I started researching the Egyptian pantheon, everyone seemed crazy. There's another way to look at it, though. Do you think that Faucke is no longer able to discern between Esau/Smokey and John Locke? After all, we know Faucke has John's memories. He told Ben what Locke's final thoughts were ("Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9Next





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