Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B | Grade It Now!
Both Ends Against The Middle
ans they'll be caught with their pants down when we change our plan of attack." Faucke nods. "I appreciate your loyalty." Sawyer's much better at subterfuge in this reality, so he lies with the truth. "You said you were going to get me off this island. A deal's a deal."

L.A. Reality; Cop Shop; Exterior: When Miles leaves the building, Jim is outside waiting for him, so he calls Miles over to his car and invites him inside, where Jim shares his SAWYER folder and life story with Miles. "When I was 9 years old, my father shot my mother, then he killed himself. Sawyer was the reason why. He was a grifter. A con man. I've been hunting him down since the day I left the academy. I chased down a lead in Australia -- got a name, Anthony Cooper." Blah blah blah list. Blah blah blah call. "When I find the right one, I'm gonna kill him." Miles asks why he didn't tell him this before. Um...'cause you're a cop? James: "I knew you'd try to talk me out of it." Miles: "Damn right." Just before the boys seal their reunion with a kiss, the car they're in is rammed by some fugitive who flees down an alley on foot in an attempt to escape. James and Miles beat the other cops to the punch... and the criminal. James heads the fugitive off in an alley way, and when the fugitive passes by, he pushes the fugitive against the wall and rips of the fugitive's hood to reveal...KATE! "Son of a bitch." The reveal and Sawyer's response were as surprising as the sun coming up in the morning, as I'm sure you can tell by my cleverly cryptic repetition of the word fugitive.

Island Reality; Camp Faucke: Kate is lost in thought and idly poking at the fire with a stick when Sawyer joins her. After small talk about what's for dinner (probably rabbit), Kate asks Sawyer why he's running errands for Faucke. Kate explains that Faucke told her he sent Sawyer to Hydra Island. "Did you find the plane?" Sawyer: "Yeah, and that ain't the only thing over there. Guy named Widmore set up camp on the beach. Got a whole team with him -- guys with guns. They're here for Locke." Kate asks what he's going to do. Sawyer looks at her and growls. "I'm going to let them fight it out. And while they've got their hands full with each other, you and me are getting the hell off this island." Kate smiles and sighs with relief, but then shakes her head slightly as if to say, "Forget it. I like Jack, today." Then she actually says, "Even if we could get on that plane, who's going to fly it?" Sawyer says, "We ain't taking the plane, Freckles. We're taking the sub." DUN. Dun dun dun dun DUN. Dun. Title card. Bad robot!

Well, let's not quibble yet about who'll pilot the sub. Maybe the Dharma Initiative taught Submarine 101 to its Security Force. What? It's a thing. Let's talk about Faucke, instead. I just love how Faucke sends Sawyer away, in order to isolate Kate. And then Claire, whom he has been winding up for three years, vents her spleen, providing Faucke with the opportunity to play the hero and to assure Kate that he'll protect her. And then, with Sawyer still gone, and Claire subdued, Faucke gets to tempt Kate with her heart's desire -- Aaron. Oh yes, she came back to Craphole to get Aaron his real mommy, and this is a labor of love, to be sure, but it's one that is breaking her heart. How better to appeal to Kate than to plant the idea that Kate must keep mothering Aaron? Well played, you evil bastard. Well played.

As I said in the recaplet, this was, it seems, a foundational episode. It kept my attention at all times, but I felt a large disconnect with Sideways Sawyer -- and it was more notable to me than the disconnect I've felt with any of the other Sideways Lost-Aways. After intensive review, I realize that that's because the sideways storyline was more fan service than actual plot. Let's have James be a cop, rather than a crook, but for the same sad reasons. But let's fake everyone out that he's still a crook at first, so that they'll be sad, and then get so, so happy! And let's have him take his shirt off, a lot. And let's have Sideways Jim and Miles maintain the bond they built in Dharmaville. Also, there should be sex -- lots of sex. How do we make it work? Oh, just throw it all together and remember, keep Holloway's shirt off. That's key.

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