Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B | Grade It Now!
I Will Be Your Father Issues

Hurley suggests all the cool things he can do, like hold the baby version of himself or change his own diaper and is generally joyous because Miles has a chance to get to know his pop, so Miles slams on the brakes and nearly sends Hurley flying through the front windshield, because nobody wore seatbelts in the 70s. He then explains slowly and clearly that he has no desire to hang out with his father or get to know him, and contrary to the theory Hurley throws at him, Daddy didn't beat Miles when he was little because he was not around when he was little. After he confesses that he never met his father until just now, Miles asks, "Why am I even telling you this?" Hurley suggests it's because Miles is in pain and needs to vent. Awww. He's not wrong. Miles won't admit it though and replies, "I'm not in pain. It doesn't matter. My father is dead. He's gone. He never cared about me, and nothing I can do will ever change that."

Hurley pushes it too far when he reminds Miles that dad isn't gone at all; they just dropped him off. Miles loses it, grabs Hurley's composition notebook and says he's going to get all up in his business. Hurley demands it back, but Miles hops out of the van, I guess to read it by the light of the moon. Or maybe one of the ghosts he definitely never speaks to is whispering the words in his ears. I don't know. At any rate, Miles reads:


A little spy robot-thingy zips through the atmosphere and crashes into the snowy planet below. That's when Chewbacca shows up and blasts it away with his crossbow laser. He shakes his fury fist in the sky in triumph.

CHEWBACCA: 'Rwaaaaaaar'.

Hurley corrects that it's, "furry -- furry fist. I need a spell check." That wouldn't help with that typo, Hurls. Miles says, "What the hell is this?" Oh come on, Miles. It's fan-fic! And a word to the wise, don't Google to see if there's any about you. Dean Winchester tried that a few weeks ago, and he's still taking anti-emetics.

Hurley explains that he's writing The Empire Strikes Back, hence our episode title (which is also a play on the title of this film, from whence I grabbed this week's theme song link). If it's 1977, Star Wars has just come out, and "George Lucas is going to be looking for a sequel." I'm not sure that's correct. I mean, the '77 is, but I thought Lucas had not 3, not 6, but 9 episodes all plotted out before the first, real Star Wars was released. Feel free to correct me in e-mail, Space Geeks.

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