Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B | Grade It Now!
I Will Be Your Father Issues

Sawyer's soon back to sticking his fingers in dykes, though, because a winded Phil hustles over to his cabin. "Hey boss, we've got a development. You better come to the office." Sawyer says he's been running around all day, so it can wait. So Phil says, "I know who took the kid." Sawyer's eyes narrow. "Yeah? Who's that?" Phil takes the bag from off his shoulder and removes the security tape. We only ever had VHS. Is that Betamax or U-Matic? Whatever it is, it's GINORMOUS. It's probably U-Matic, but I'd like to think Dharma would be a Betamax shop. It's the Edsel of the video recording word. Whatever kind of tape it is, what matters is what Phil has seen on it. As he tells Sawyer, that's, "You." (Not you you, Sawyer you, unless you're Kate and if so, how did you get to 2009 to read this, or possibly 2010, by time I'm done with it?).

Sawyer tells Phil he's "got a perfectly good explanation for what you saw on that tape." Phil "sure as hell" hopes so. Once inside the cabin, Sawyer asks Phil if he's told Horace about the tape, yet. Phil is very stupid, so he truthfully answers, "Nope. Thought that after three years of working together, I'd give you the benefit of the doubt." Sawyer's hair moves before he does, even though it looks like it's weighed down with 30 years worth of grease. Does he not have a shower? He cold clocks Phil, knocking him out with one punch. Juliet looks... aroused, maybe because she knows what Sawyer's going to say next. "Get some rope." Commerical time, because this is network TV.

Mainland; 2004ish: Mr. Gray is raking his backyard when Miles enters (not a euphemism). He lays down his giant duffel on the picnic table and when Mr. Gray asks what brings him by, he says, " Well sir... uh... I'm about to go on a boat trip for a while, and..." He removes an envelope from his pants pocket and hands it to Gray. "I wanted to give this back to you." It's the money he took for "contacting" Russell in the great beyond. "I lied to you, Mr. Gray. I wasn't able to talk to your son." I love it when his conscience gets the best of him.

When Miles picks his duffel back up, Gray asks why he's telling him this. "You could have just let me go on believing what you said." As if it's obvious, Miles says, "That wouldn't have been fair to your son." Gray doesn't understand, so Miles elaborates. "If you needed your son to know that you loved him, you should've told him when he was still alive." Ouch. Miles marches off, and leaves Gray to stew in his own juice. Hopefully, Old Man Gray's father is still living, and he can call him up and take it out on him.

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