Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B | Grade It Now!
I Will Be Your Father Issues

Mainland; 2004ish: Miles sits at a picnic table with a middle aged man, Mr. Gray (Dean Norris) who is holding a picture of his high school football-playing son. The boy was killed by a drunk driver "last Labor Day weekend." Miles wants to visit the grave, but they cremated the boy and scattered his ashes on the High School football field. Legalities aside, how exactly is the Pep Squad supposed to overcome that shit? Miles says what he does works much better with a body, even though we've seen him talk to ghosts. I guess Mr. Gray is only haunted by the idea that his son didn't know he loved him. When Miles learns that, his daddy issues wake up and nudge him to jack up his price. He takes the grief-stricken Mr. Gray's hands, and pretends to converse with his son, Russell. When he's done pretending (and don't you think he should have faked it for a little longer; give the guy a show, you know) he says, "Your son says he knew that you loved him. He always knew." Mr. Gray thanks Miles, who says, "I'm sorry for your loss." He picks up his case, which I hope contains that little fake ghost-buster Dust Buster, and leaves the yard.

Miles is putting his case in the trunk of his car when he's approached by Naomi "Little" Dorrit and her outsized wig. That's got to be a wig, right? I mean, I went to high school in the 80s, but dayyyyum, babies. That hair is BIG. She says her employer is interested in engaging Miles and his "rather unique services" and invites him to a nearby restaurant to hear what she has to say. Miles says, "Yeah, absolutely," but I mostly think he thinks Naomi and her wig are hot. He checks out her ass and then her business card, as she walks away and we jump to...

Island; 1977: Roger Linus is getting drunk on the Dharmaville swing set, because... um... that's what you do when your dying child is missing? Since Kate is minus about 25 IQ points in this episode, she decides to talk to him, instead of laying low or helping Juliet or Sawyer or arguing with Jack, or anything else that might keep her out of trouble. Oh and she grabs one of his beers, so she can be extra stupid. Roger's not just drunk, he's bitter, so when Kate assures him that "things are going to work out," and that she "just has a feeling he's going to be okay," he grows suspicious that she knows something about Ben's disappearance. For some reason, today, Kate couldn't keep her cool on Antarctica, so she stands up like someone shot her in the butt, and raises her voice as she assures Roger she doesn't know a thing. Even through his alcoholic haze, he wonders why she's so interested in his kid. She says she was just trying to help, so Roger suggests she mind her own business. Really, Kate, it's for the best, dear. And we cut to...

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