Lost
Lost

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B- | 703 USERS: C+
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Make sure your sign doesn't read

So he starts yelling out to the trees that he's back, and he's got their man, and if they want him back they're going to have to come on out. Kate tries to get him to calm down, but he's too busy yelling at the spin-cam. "I know you're out there! I know you can hear me!" and so forth. "Jack, they're not here," says Kate, but Jack keeps yelling about how he'll be right there and he knows what they did last summer.

Having alienated everyone else, Bernard is on the beach hauling rocks for his giant sign. Rose comes up carrying a bowl, saying she brought him some supper. Bernard perfunctorily thanks her and says she can set it down, which she does. Then she annoyingly asks where everyone is, and Bernard gives her the big ol' stink-eye. But she came to apologize, not because she shot him down in front of everybody, but because back in Australia, Isaac didn't heal her. "Of course he did," he says. "Bernard, he didn't heal me. But that doesn't mean I'm not healed," she says.

And we flashback to Rose and Bernard sitting in the airport in Australia, Bernard digging the tickets out of his bag, with Craphole Island Rose narrating for us: "When you're sick and you have got something inside you that doesn't belong there you can feel it," like what kind of happy horseshit is this? Yes, that's why a cancer diagnosis is never a surprise to anyone, because they could feel it inside them. Bernard takes the tickets, squeezes Rose's hand, and they smile at each other, and he strolls over in the direction of a phone bank. In the present day, Rose says that after the crash she couldn't feel her whatever, her illness, anymore. "At first I thought it was just shock. But it wasn't. It's this place." Bernard's awfully confused, because she told him that Isaac fixed her. "I told you that so that you wouldn't spend what time we had left trying to do something."

Bernard's theories are that she's just in remission, or maybe Isaac did heal her after all. "How do you know that he didn't heal you?" he says. "I know," she says simply.

And we flash back again to the airport, Rose sitting by herself, fumbling in her purse for something. She drops a prescription bottle, and it rolls along the floor into the hand of…Locke, sitting in his wheelchair. He picks them up and hands them over to her. She thanks him, and he says she's welcome, and goes rolling on by.

Back on Craphole Island, Rose says again, "Trust me. I know." And in case anybody had any trouble figuring it out, Bernard spells it out: "You don't want to be rescued, do you?" he says. Rose doesn't answer, but Bernard says she thinks if she leaves it'll come back. But no problemo: if Rose can't leave, neither can Bernard. "We won't ever leave, Rose." He kisses her, and they hug, and Rose starts bawling. Bernard says he'd offer to take down the sign, but they didn't get very far, and a crane shot shows us that they hadn't even made it around the first curve of one S. I'd say that just because these two don't want to leave the island is no reason not to try to get everyone else rescued, but if nobody else wants to work on the sign, fuck 'em. And the one and only Otis Redding takes us out, singing "These Arms of Mine," just like he was on Rose's radio in the first flashback scene, and taking me back to Grade 7 where every damn birthday party I went to featured the Dirty Dancing soundtrack, like can someone please explain to me what Patrick Swayze is up to, so I can go find him and punch him for all the times I had to listen to that "She's like the wind" nonsense, like doing that 12-year-old slow-dance thing, with the your-hands-on-her-hips locked-knee synchronized-swaying thing you do, is nerve-racking enough without that crap blaring over the junior-high gymnasium speakers, thank you very much. And that "Now I…had…the time of my life" song was played about a dozen times at the last school dance because every class had to request it so all their friends would know that they…had…the time of their lives, and we owe it all to them.

Lost

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