Episode Report Card
Daniel: C+ | Grade It Now!
Make sure your sign doesn't read

Car tires spin fruitlessly in the snow, and not the kind of spinning tires you get just before you pop the clutch and lay some rubber while chasing down a pimp who's shooting at you, unfortunately. Rose is behind the wheel of a car stuck curbside in snow that wouldn't present any kind of problem for someone who has, as Rose tells Bernard (who's standing outside offering advice through the driver's window) she has, been driving in snow all her life. Bernard's telling her that she needs to rock the car back and forth, or else she's just digging herself in, which is true. Rose ignores this and just keeps spinning her wheels until she says she's going to call Triple A. "So they can send a tow truck?" says Bernard, who seems to take this personally. Based on their mild bickering, suggesting familiarity with each other and reminiscent of their minor squabbling on Craphole Island, I suspect we're supposed to think they've long been married, but the clearly deliberately ambiguous language kind of telegraphed that this was how they met, which I'm thinking is a surprise to most viewers either way. He says he can help her get it out, and gets around the back to push while shouting instructions at her. So naturally when she does manage to get free of the inch-deep snow, he falls flat on his face. Rose gets out of the car to see if he's okay, which he is, and then says she would have gotten out of the snow eventually, like how nice to tell him that he just fell on his face for nothing. And turns out that she's listening to Otis Redding singing "These Arms of Mine" on the radio, which I didn't notice the first time I watched the episode. We'll come back to this.

She thanks him for helping for her, and he says sure, and then she introduces herself, and he does likewise and they act like awkward teenagers for a moment before heading for their respective cars. Rose is hesitant about getting into her car, as she watches Bernard get in his, and then yells his name, getting his attention. She asks if she can buy him a cup of coffee. He's so surprised that he hops right out of his car, and smiles. "Coffee would be nice," he says, and she smiles too.

Back on Craphole Island, Bernard purposefully strides across the beach. He has a smile that indicates he ate the canary. It approaches "shit-eating," this smile, but is far more pure in its self-satisfaction. He stomps over to where Rose is holding a box of "Dharmalars," which she's telling Hurley she had to beat back half the group for, and she was saving them specially for him. What kind of weird organization is this that it feels the need to put its name on food products like this? Hurley sadly tells her that he's on a new diet now that consists of "fish and water." He says it again, like he can't believe that he has to subsist solely on fish and water. Here's a thought: if I ever crash-land on a deserted island and I actually have the option of confining my meal options to one particular type of food, like actually being able to afford to diet, please remind me to praise Jesus. So shut up, Hurley. Also, fish tastes good. Water is good.

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