Lost

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Locke 3 Times on the Ceiling if You Want Me

Theme Song!

L.A. Reality: Live Locke returns to work for his latest Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Randy Nations mocks Live Locke with the "Colonel" nonsense and weasels on about Locke's tan and the appointments he missed in Australia. He knows Live Locke never picked up his credentials -- never attended a single convention event -- even though the company footed the bill. Randy fires Live Locke, but is such an ass about the whole thing that it's hard to care that the termination is justified. It's safe to say though, that unlike Hurley, the island wasn't responsible for all of Locke's lucklessness.

Island Reality: Faucke offers Richard his canteen. He eyes it suspiciously, like you do when a guy who used to be a pillar of black smoke (which was summoned by draining a muddy puddle) offers you anything, but Guyliner must be really thirsty, because he takes a drink. Faucke apologizes for hitting him in the throat and dragging him off the beach. "But I had to do something." Why and why that? When Richard asks what he wants, Faucke says, "What I've always wanted -- for you to come with me." Bom chicka wah wah. Richard wants to know what's up with the Locke meatsuit. Faucke says, "I knew he could get me access to Jacob, because John is, or at least was a 'candidate'." Richard doesn't know what that means, so Faucke taunts him/apologizes. "You mean you've been doing everything he told you, all this time, and he never said why? I would never have done that to you. I would never have kept you in the dark. [...] I would have treated you with respect. Come with me, and I promise I'll tell you everything." The serpent slithers out of the fruit tree, bitter that Faucke's stealing his gimmick, but nobody notices. Richard says he's not going anywhere with Faucke, even after Faucke threatens/warns him that people seldom get a second chance. Suddenly, a blond boy (Kenton Duty) with bloody arms and hands, is standing in an oddly sunlit patch of jungle. Richard doesn't seem to see him before he disappears, but Faucke does. As he takes his leave, Faucke says, "I'll be seeing you, Richard -- sooner than you think."

Four-Toes Beach: Ilana sits alone inside the statue base, crying over her lost crew. When Ben makes his presence known, Ilana asks what happened. Ben says there's a chance she won't believe him. It is to laugh. "John Locke killed them. [...] He turned into a pillar of black smoke and he killed them right before my eyes." I wonder if his tongue turns black when he tells the truth. Not to worry. He's going to cleanse it with a luscious lie any second now. Ilana asks, "Did he kill Jacob as well?" Ben says: "Yes." When Ilana is done rolling her eyes, she asks where Jacob's body is. Ben tells her that Faucke kicked Jacob into the fire and he burned away. Ilana walks to the fire pit. Most of the ashes are grey, but the ones in the center are white. Ilana scoops up some white ash and deposits it into a drawstring bag. Ben wants to know why "Locke" carried Richard out into the jungle. Ilana says, "He's recruiting." Were this world righteous, we'd break to commercial for Monster.com, but instead, we cut to...

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Lost

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