Lost
Lost

Episode Report Card
Dan Kwa: B- | 661 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Baby, Let Me Clean Your Slate (Until It Can't Get Any Cleaner)

Inside Marshal Shrap's Bleeding and Groaning Emporium, the Marshal takes a break to warn Jack off Kate. "No matter what she does, no matter how she makes you feel, don't trust a word she says," Shrap says. Cock-block! "I wanna talk to her," Shrap insists, "alone." Jack looks dubious, and Shrap says, "She got to you too, huh?" By the way, Jack searched all those bags for antibiotics, but not a single person on the plane had any prescription painkillers?

Commercials. Sarah Michelle Gellar has a butt growing out of her head.

Australia, 1875. We're back on Flashback Road with Kate, Farmer Hoggett, and Marshal Not-Yet-Shrap. Kate grabs the wheel and, in an attempt to do I don't know what, veers the truck off the road. It flips over an amusing number of times and then bursts into flames. Kate drags Farmer Hoggett out of the truck, because she's really a good person. Oh, makers of Lost: 'twould have been so much more interesting if she had let Farmer Hoggett roast. So she's dragging him through the grass, and of course .... .. ... / .- .-. -- / -.-. --- -- . ... / --- ..-. ..-.! Elapsed time: 33 minutes. She gets him to a roadside, and sees the truck go by that could've saved her if only she hadn't wasted time saving him. Farmer Hoggett coughs, and faintly whispers, "That'll do, Kate." Then Marshal Soon-To-Shrap points a gun at her head.

Marshal Shrap's Bleeding and Groaning Emporium. Shrap wants to know what the favor was that Kate was about to ask for before the gigantic plane crash. Boy, ABC must really be worried about morons keeping up with the plot of this show, because they insert here a totally pointless one-minute rerun of Kate's flashback from the pilot. The mood in the tent, interestingly, is one of wistful old-times chumminess, rather than the homicidal rage previously exhibited when these two got together. Kate says she was going to ask that Shrap make sure Farmer Hoggett got his twenty-three grand. "The guy who ratted you out?" Shrap asks, wheezing away. "He had a hell of a mortgage," says Kate. Good Fucking Christ, makers of Lost: we get it. She's got a goddamn heart of 24-carat gold, even though she's guilty of an unspecified crime. GIVE IT A REST. But they won't give it a rest: "You really are one of a kind," notes Marshal Shrap. My turn: AAAUUUUrrrrrrghhhhhurgle. He notes that Kate would've gotten away if she hadn't taken the time to remove the farmer's artificial arm. "In case you haven't noticed," Kate says, "I did get away." "You don't look free to me," he cracks. The United States Department of Dialogue has issued the following nutritional breakdown of this scene:

Lost

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