Lost
Tabula Rasa

Episode Report Card
Dan Kawa: C+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Baby, Let Me Clean Your Slate (Until It Can't Get Any Cleaner)

While Marshal Shrap bleeds and groans the afternoon into the evening, we see a cavalcade of castaways trying not to notice him. ("Arrgh!" offers Marshal Shrap. "Aaaaah!") Charlie finds Locke whittling a whistle. "I used some tribal flutes in a recording session," Charlie says. "I'm in a band." ("Gaaaah! Grrrraaaaghh!!!") Shannon once again proves her worth to this show by declaring, "I wish he would just die already!" Sorry, Shannon, first he has to serve as a moral litmus test. Then he can die. ("Orrrrrrrrfh!! Gooooorrrg. Ungh.") Sayid tells Jack that people are getting upset because they think he can't save Marshal Shrap. ("Graaaaaaa!!!!! AAAAAAAAHhurg!!!") Sawyer shows up as Kate's trying to build a fire and offers her a light. He claims he came by to thank her, but actually he's just taunting her vis-à-vis her being the only one who can put Marshal Shrap down. ("GUUUURF!! NnnnnnnnnHGH!!!!!!") "Don't look so surprised," he says, lighting a cigarette. "I heard you tell the hero the same thing." Their faces are illuminated beautifully by the roaring fire that Kate managed to make out of wood that was soaked just hours before in a torrential downpour. "Hell, there's only one bullet left," Sawyer adds. "Be damn near poetic."

Inside Marshal Shrap's Bleeding and Groaning Emporium, the Marshal takes a break to warn Jack off Kate. "No matter what she does, no matter how she makes you feel, don't trust a word she says," Shrap says. Cock-block! "I wanna talk to her," Shrap insists, "alone." Jack looks dubious, and Shrap says, "She got to you too, huh?" By the way, Jack searched all those bags for antibiotics, but not a single person on the plane had any prescription painkillers?

Commercials. Sarah Michelle Gellar has a butt growing out of her head.

Australia, 1875. We're back on Flashback Road with Kate, Farmer Hoggett, and Marshal Not-Yet-Shrap. Kate grabs the wheel and, in an attempt to do I don't know what, veers the truck off the road. It flips over an amusing number of times and then bursts into flames. Kate drags Farmer Hoggett out of the truck, because she's really a good person. Oh, makers of Lost: 'twould have been so much more interesting if she had let Farmer Hoggett roast. So she's dragging him through the grass, and of course .... .. ... / .- .-. -- / -.-. --- -- . ... / --- ..-. ..-.! Elapsed time: 33 minutes. She gets him to a roadside, and sees the truck go by that could've saved her if only she hadn't wasted time saving him. Farmer Hoggett coughs, and faintly whispers, "That'll do, Kate." Then Marshal Soon-To-Shrap points a gun at her head.

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Lost

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