The 23rd Psalm

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B+ | Grade It Now!
The Lord is my Shephard

Back on the island, Claire is only now cleaning up the broken shards of Virgin Mary statuette. Better for dramatic purposes, I suppose. Charlie and Eko stroll up, and Charlie asks Eko for a moment with Claire. "Hi, Claire," he says all casual, as Claire ignores him. "What happened to the statue?" he says. Yeah, that's the way to handle this, Charlie. "Don't play stupid, Charlie," spits Claire. "Play"? Claire shows him the baggies. "What's this? Because this was in your little statue. And, unless I'm mistaken, I seem to remember you saying you're a drug addict." Charlie pretends to have no idea that there were drugs in the statue. After all, if it was sealed up, how would he have known about it? Claire rolls her eyes. I'm amazed that Charlie thinks Claire is as stupid as he is. He says that he's not using, and to prove it, he breaks open the baggies and dumps them. "Look, you believe me now?" Claire just makes a "whatever" face and tells him that someone's waiting for him.

In the jungle, a poor defenceless jar of Dharma Ranch Composite Dressing (now 15 percent less pasty!) is sitting on a log. We pan around to see Locke showing Michael how to shoot a rifle, which is pointed right at the ranch dressing. You sick bastards! Michael asks how Locke learned to shoot. "My dad used to take me hunting," says Locke, forgetting to add, "until he got my kidney." Michael says he knows people are talking, "thinking I'm going to go running off after Walt again, which tends to include me also yelling 'Waaaaaallltt!' at the top of my lungs, and everybody seems to hate that." Locke says if people are talking, he's not hearing it. "But if I was, I'd say it's not a very smart plan." No it's not, agrees Michael. I agree too, but in Michael's defence, this is his son, and I don't see anyone else coming up with a better plan. And maybe Michael remembers when Claire was abducted, and doesn't really want to go the "let's hope Walt just wanders out of the bushes on his own" route. Anyway, Locke loads up the gun and says they should try one for real. Michael shoots and of course hits the bottle of ranch, splattering it all over the foliage. "Bravo," says Locke, and walks forward (hopefully to clean up the broken glass, not to mention the ranch dressing currently eating away at the indigenous flora). Michael just stands there staring down the rifle, totally getting his Bronson on.

Trekking through the jungle, Charlie is, and I know you won't believe this, whining to Eko about how Eko got him into a lot of trouble with Claire, "so thanks for that. Hope you're happy. Oh, that's right, you don't do happy." Does he do whiny weasel? Or is that exclusively your territory too?

So anyway, they stop by a tree, and Charlie's all casual: "All right, well, we're here. I found it right here, right by that tree." He's clearly lying, and Eko calls him on it. "You know what? I don't even know you. You asked to see where I found it. This is where I found it. We're done. Have a nice hike." Charlie starts to walk off, but Eko grabs him by the neck and flings him up against the tree, which if I were running this show would happen every episode. "You did not find the statue here. Take me to the plane," Eko says menacingly.

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