Episode Report Card
LTG: B+ | Grade It Now!
Can't Keep A Dead Hobbit Down

And now we cut to Kate, tracking Naomi's blood splatters. And then the phone rings. The call is coming from inside your pants! She answers the phone, but when the person on the other end asks where Naomi is, she hangs up too. Three months on this island and everybody has forgotten their phone etiquette. I hate to think what their emails are going to look like when they get back to civilization. And then some blood drips on Kate. She realizes that Naomi must be in the tree above her, just as Naomi decides this would be a good time to drop in on Kate. She holds a knife to Kate's throat and demands the phone. At least Locke left Naomi with a weapon she could use; she'd better not say he never did anything for her. Kate tries to explain that the person who threw the knife in Naomi's back was a total lunatic who they all hate, and then the phone rings again. Kate gives her the phone, and she answers it. And then she proceeds to cover for the Lostaways, claiming that she was injured in the original parachute jump onto the island and that the Lostaways were just lying about her whereabouts until she had a chance to explain her injuries herself. And she fixes the phone so the boat people can get a fix on their location. Kate notices that the massive wound on Naomi's back is still bleeding. Naomi asks George (the boat man on the phone) to tell her sister that she loved her. Who's her sister, I wonder? And then she drops the phone. And drops dead, I think.

Hurley's back at the cabin. He calls out and approaches the building, instead of wisely fleeing into the jungle. And then he looks through the broken window. What does he see, you ask? A table, a lamp, an empty chair, a painting of a dog playing poker (or maybe just being a dog), and a guy sitting in a rocking chair. Now, the EEFPs swear that the guy is Jack's dad, based at least in part on his white shoes. But based on the same evidence, I'm holding out for Peewee Herman -- mostly because I'd love to see Miss Yvonne or Jambi on the island. And then a scary brown eye looks out at Hurley from the other side of the window. I scream, you scream, we all scream from sheer terror, because that was scary. Hurley is just as scared, and he runs off into the woods. After a bit he stops and looks back to see if the scary brown eye or its owner are chasing him. They aren't, but when he turns back around, he finds that the cabin is now in front of him. As the cabin door slowly creaks open, Hurley closes his eyes and tells himself that there's nothing there. And when he opens his eyes, the cabin is gone. He falls over backwards in the grass, and screams again when he opens his eyes and sees Locke standing over him. (Locke's eyes are blue, by the way, so he was not the owner of the scary brown eye. And once again, my hat is off to the EEFPs.) Commercials.

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