Lost
Lost

Episode Report Card
Erin: B | 599 USERS: C+
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Michael's Got a Gun

Just then, Sayid enters, looking like someone just ran over his puppy. Or shot his girlfriend. Or whatever. "This music is quite depressing," he says, even though no one asked him. No one asked you to come down to the shelter either, dude. Don't like the music? DON'T LISTEN. But Hurley has a soft spot for Sayid and jumps up all, we can change the music to something else! Something that'll lift your spirits! And make you think of something other than dead girls you barely knew but claim to love! Sayid asks where Jack and Locke are and Charlie says they've gone after Michael and Walt along with everyone else and Sayid's like, uh, everyone? Who's everyone? Hurley tells him that it was Jack, Sawyer, Locke, and Kate and you can tell Sayid's thinking, "Okay, that's hardly everyone. And since when am I not included in the 'everyone,' anyway? I am NOT crying. Shut up! I never liked those guys anyway!"

Speaking of those guys, they're still standing around staring at Hairy Man as a nice hearty fire roars between them. Locke asks how Hairy Man knows their names and Jack blurts out that he took Walt. Hairy Man just says that Walt's fine and that he's a very special boy. That may be, Hairy Man, but you just totally ooked me out right there with the way you just Jackson-ed out and said "special boy." Ew. Jack's all, you said you wanted to talk, so talk, dammit. This irritates Hairy Man, who asks how long they've been on the island. "Fifty days," says Jack. "Oooh, fifty days!" says Hairy Man with a note of derision in his voice. "Why, that's almost two whole months!" Judging by the amount of facial hair on this guy and the all-encompassing film of dirt all over his chest, I'd say that he passed the two-month marker quite some time ago. Also, introduce yourself to a bar of soap, there, Pigpen. ["And a razor. Amelia Earhart is stuck in your 'beard,' and she wants out." -- Sars]

Lost

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