The Hunting Party

Episode Report Card
Erin: B- | Grade It Now!
Michael's Got a Gun

After the break, Jack asks Locke how he's feeling and Locke's like, I feel like runnin' a marathon barefoot in 90-degree heat, jackass, how do you think I feel? My head hurts! After filling him in on Michael's plans to rescue Walt, Jack asks Locke to give him a boost up to the air shaft so they can get the hell out of there. Locke says it won't do him any good because he bolted it shut from the inside. "No point changing the combination if you can just get in through the air vent," says Locke. "That's really good thinking, John," snits Jack, his voice soaked in sarcasm. Actually, that really IS good thinking, Jack O'Sarcasm. Why not bring it down a notch, there, smart-ass. "Wanna tell me why you let Michael in here?" asks Jack. Good point. "Uh, he wanted a gun," says Locke. Well, obviously. It's not like he wanted a Twinkie. "For shooting practice," continues Locke. "Shooting practice," Jack repeats back at him incredulously. And Locke kind of hilariously rubs his face like, "Yeaaaaaah. Not such a good idea, you know, in hindsight."

Locke suddenly comes to his senses and says, "The button." God, how tired I am already of the damn button. Locke's concerned that he and Jack are supposed to be on duty for the next four hours, so no one's going to come down and notice that they're missing. Oh no! Who. Will press. The BUTTON? Jack just says they better hope that Sawyer shows up to get his bandage changed. In a nice juxtaposition, the next shot is of Sawyer, snoring away the day in a beach chair as the ocean roars in the background. Heh. He's not looking for bandages right about now. Nosy Parker, uh, I mean, Kate walks up and chucks a banana at Sawyer's chest. "Did you just throw a banana at me?" he says. Hee. "Couldn't find any rocks," she retorts. "Plus, I only have one pair of panties that I've been living in since the damn plane crashed, otherwise I woulda thrown them at you instead."

Sawyer's head is filled with dirty thoughts (I love that about him!) as he says, "There's nicer ways to wake a man up, Freckles." Kate blushes and pretends she doesn't like it when he gruffs at her like that and tells him they need to go change his bandage. Sawyer reluctantly agrees to go and then puts on a little play I like to call "Ouch, My Arm Hurts So Much, Can You Help Me Up, Pretty Lady?" Seriously. He's in a beach chair and he wasn't shot in the LEG, but he's still reaching up to Kate to help him stand up. I mean, it's not like he's pregnant, for god's sake. She helps him up and he gets too close to her and rasps his thanks rather sexily and Kate just smiles at him and OH MY GOD JUST DO IT ALREADY. I can't believe that Jack and Kate have already kissed but Sawyer and Kate are still at the gone a-courtin' stage. And, no, I don't count that time where Sawyer basically bribed a kiss out of Kate as a real kiss. Sure, she may have wanted to swap spit with Sawyer anyway, but she didn't get all emotional and fall into his arms and then choose to make out with him like she did with Jack. But still. DO IT ALREADY. Christ, who'd have thought that Sayid would have been the first Lostaway to get a little action? ["[meekly raises hand]" -- Sars]

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