Lost
The Journey

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Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before

And thus begins the mentorship of Locke to Boone, who guesses that back in the real world Locke was either a taxidermist or a hit man, which makes Locke laugh, although I have to say that if someone speculated I was a hit man, I'd be kind of proud of that. Locke says that he was an office drone at a box company. Boone's rather disappointed.

Kate and Jack come across Charlie, hung from the trees. They quickly get him down, and Jack begins extremely violent and increasingly desperate CPR, until Kate convinces him it's futile. He stops for a moment. Just a moment, though, and then he resumes beating the crap out of Charlie, who of course eventually comes in. Jack's too busy cradling Charlie to give an ecstatic Kate an "I told you so."

So back at the camp, Charlie tells Jack that "all they wanted was Claire," and that's all he'll say.

Mercutio tells the other assembled main cast members that between the Lostzilla and the beatings and the kidnappings and so forth, this island life ain't so hot, so he proposes building a raft, much to Sayid's amusement. Mercutio and Walt get to work on it, so you just know it's going to be seaworthy.

"While you prepare to depart, others make their return."

Night. The jungle. Locke and Boone see a rustling in the bushes, and Claire stumbles out.

She doesn't remember anything about the abduction, and doesn't in fact remember anything about the lostaways. Charlie gives her her journal, which he says might help. She asks him who Ethan is, and Charlie says that "Ethan is the bad guy," which I'm sure even the amnesiac Claire could have deduced on her own.

Charlie's in the jungle when Ethan comes strolling up. "Charlie, I want her back," he says, like she dumped him or something. He grabs Charlie and says that if Charlie doesn't deliver Claire, he'll kill a lostaway every day until they're all dead, saving Charlie for last. Of course, that's just a Canadian custom.

Locke explains to Jack that the lone Ethan has the advantage against the forty-some lostaways for some reason, so Jack busts out the guns he's been hanging onto. "Why, Doctor, you've been holding out on us," says Locke, like anyone's going to entrust a gun to the guy who chucks knives all over the place.

So the lostaways' brilliant plan is to use Claire as bait, despite Charlie's protests. It works well, too, drawing Ethan out of the jungle, right into their trap. Even better, Ethan gets to beat up Jack for a little while, before the rest of the geniuses use their guns to put a stop to that. Then Charlie puts an end -- a terminal end -- to Ethan by blowing away a defenceless Ethan kneeling on the ground.

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Lost

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