Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A | Grade It Now!
Right Round Like A Record Baby

Hurley mulls it over. I can see the wheels turning in his mind. I can feel what he's feeling, because Garcia is just that good. And truly, I have no idea what he should do, but I know what I want him to do. I wait with bated breath. Hurley's expression changes from one of despair to one of resolve. "Never, dude!" You tell him, Hurley. He runs outside, and though Ben gives chase, Hugo has too big of a lead, and surrenders to the cops who have been staking out his house. "You got me! That's right, you got me! That's right! I'm the killer... I'm a murderer. I killed four people... three people. However many are dead, I killed them." Ha! "I killed them all. Just get me away from here."

As the cops read Hurley his Miranda Rights, Hurley searches Ben's face for a reaction, and smiles when he realizes he's frustrated the master's plans. And I'm happy for Hurley, because for once -- as my friend Connie pointed out to me -- for once, he's shown agency. I hope you don't live to regret it darling, because this was a huge step for you.

On the island, the British soldier interrogates Juliet and Sawyer. He wants to know what they're doing, how many of "them" there are, and how they got there. When Sawyer tries to intervene on Juliet's behalf, the soldier speaks to him with less respect than you'd show a dog. He wants them to tell him everything, or he'll cut off Juliet's "other" hand. (And hey, isn't Dr. Chang missing a hand or an arm, or something?) Sawyer's all, what do you mean other hand, so Brit explains, "The first one isn't negotiable. It just illustrates how serious I am." Sawyer tries to talk sense with the man (I know!), but he'll have none of it. Just as another commando is going to cut off Juliet's hand, something knocks him down (the shot is so dark, and the glare on my TV is so strong that I just can't tell what). This surprise attack gives Sawyer and Juliet an opportunity to fight back. There's a struggle, and I can tell the commandos are getting bested, because Juliet ends up with Brit Boy's rifle, and she's no Kate in a fight. I'm just saying... As one of the commandos makes a move for her, he's downed by a knife that flies out of the darkness and into his gut. Juliet points the rifle toward the direction from which the knife seems to have come. A dark figure lumbers out of the thick of the jungle, and over to the corpse to retrieve his weapon. He withdraws it, and raises it to inspect the blade. It's none other than Locke (who sort of needs a bra, or I guess that would be "bro" or is it "manzierre"?). He nods towards his sometime-comrades. "James. Juliet. Nice to see ya." And everyone breathes (er... except for the currently dead commandos). I start wondering about how many rules this breaks, when I realize I do have a deadline, but seriously? How many rules did that break? We need Daniel or Chang to tally it up.

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