Speaking of a foot, the Others aren't really surprised to see Patch Adams, a.k.a. Mikhail, back on his. Patch comes running through the woods at mach speed shouting for Ben. Ben says he thought Patch was dead, but Patch explains that the security pylons were not set to lethal levels. Patch is startled when Locke comes out of Ben's tent. He demands to know what he is doing there since he tried to kill him and all. Ben explains that Locke is with them now. Patch rolls his eye and tells Ben about his run-in with the Losties and the woman who landed on the Island. He says she was on a "helo" -- which I assume is Soviet Army speak for "magical unicorn" -- that crashed in the ocean. She has a radio telephone, too. Ben asks where she is, and Patch says he assumes the Losties took her back to their camp. Ben explains that they are headed to the beach the day after tomorrow and they will deal with it then, but Patch insists that they go now. Locke won't stand for that, though, and yells that Ben is not going anywhere with Patch, because Ben is taking him to see Jacob. Everyone looks shocked by this. I know, right? Locke is sending such mixed signals! I thought he was totally not into Ben, but now that he's heading off with Patch, he suddenly wants him? Talk about mixed messages! Oh wait -- it was the Jacob thing wasn't it? Ben is so shocked by Locke's outburst that he looks like one of those rubber dolls you squeeze and make their ears and eyes pop out. Patch is shocked that Ben is even listening to Locke, but not nearly as shocked as when Locke storms up and kicks the Russkie out of him! Ben tries to get Tom and Mr. Eyeliner to intervene, but they won't budge. Locke finishes up with Patch and asks Ben when they are leaving.
Locke and Ben are filling canteens in a stream in preparation for their trip. Ben finds it necessary to blurt, "You know you didn't have to beat Mikhail senseless to make your point, John." Locke looks calmly at Ben and replies, "Yes I did." This witty repartee is interrupted by they arrival of Alex, who hands Locke a gun, informing him that if he is going to visit Jacob he will need it. Locke looks surprised but accepts it. Alex then looks right at Ben and says, "Happy Birthday, Dad." Ben contemplates the possibility of bringing Dr. Phil to the Island to deal with his teenage daughter for him, realizes he would have to bring Dr. Phil's annoying wife, too, gives up the thought, and sighs heavily.