We finally get a Jin and Sun-centric episode, but on the island -- in the reality in which it matters to me right now -- they never catch a glimpse of each other. Suffice it to say, I'm a little bitter, but I'm holding that in check for now. What did you think? Click on that Episode Report Card right up there, and let me know. And now, let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up....
Sideways L.A. Reality: After deplaning from Oceanic 815, Sun Paik and Jin Soo Kwon check into their L.A. hotel and make a big stink about having separate rooms, because "no marry." But when Jin leaves his room (842) at 11:30 PM to visit Sun, and tells her he's going to the restaurant to deliver the watch Mr. Paik gave him, Sun starts unbuttoning buttons on that frigging beige cardigan, and Jin? He doesn't mind in the slightest. They end up in bed. The next morning, Sun suggests they run away together and says she has something important to tell Jin, but she's interrupted by Keamy's knock on her door. Keamy wants the 25 grand Mr. Paik had Jin carry over from Korea. There's only one problem -- Jin doesn't have it, because Customs is turning it over to the Feds (even though, I think, Customs = the Feds). Since Keamy and Omar (not Omer) don't speak Korean, and Jin and Sun don't (seem to) speak English, Keamy bitches about being trapped in a "Godzilla movie" because he's just that special, and then orders Omar to bring in that guy that knows something like nine languages -- MIKHAIL! And? Sideways Mikhail has both eyes. He also looks ten years younger, and what's up with that?
On Keamy's orders, Mikhail takes Sun to the bank. She'll hit up her personal account to give Keamy the 25K he's expecting. But once at the bank, Sun and Mikhail learn that Mr. Paik not only knew about Sun's secret account, he somehow used his muscle to get the bank to transfer the funds into one of his accounts. Sun's balance? Zero. That's probably just as well. Paik was paying Keamy the 25K to kill Jin, because you so don't mess with the boss's daughter. Once at the restaurant, Keamy and Omar (not Omer) tie up Jin and leave him in the restaurant's walk-in. Jin hears Sayid shoot Keamy and his minions and raises a ruckus. Sayid finds Jin in the walk-in, like we already saw, but he doesn't free him. Instead, Sayid slips a razor into Jin's still-bound hands, wishes him luck and takes off.
When Mikhail and Sun get to the restaurant, they see the carnage and find the dying -- but not dead yet -- Keamy. Sheesh, this guy dies harder than Rasputin. Anyhow, Jin appears and he and Mikhail struggle for a gun. It goes off, and the bullet hits Sun in the stomach, but Jin doesn't realize that until after he SHOOTS OUT MIKHAIL'S EYE! Once Jin realizes Sun has been hit, he scoops her up in his beautiful arms; she tells him she's pregnant; he carries her out.
Island Jacobites: Most of the Jacobites' story involves waiting on Lostaway Beach for Richard Alpert to return. Ben doubts he will, but Ilana is sure of it, because Jacob hasn't lied to her, yet. Sun, frustrated that no one is focused on helping her find Jin, retreats to her old garden to tidy things up. Faucke catches up with her there, and tries to tempt her into coming with him and reuniting with Jin. Sun freaks and runs -- straight into a tree. Later, Ben finds her, and while she can still understand English, she can no longer speak it. Back at the beach camp, Hurley and a reinvigorated Richard return. When Richard gives everyone their marching orders (he wants to disable the plane), Sun tells off the Jacobites -- in Korean -- for ignoring her need to get Jin. They can't understand her, since they don't speak Korean, but they get her general drift, just the same. Later, based on an experience he had when he was a Baby Doc, Jack brings Sun some paper and a pen -- hoping she can write in English, even though she cannot speak it. She can. We all breathe a sigh of relief.
Island Fauckers: Faucke leaves Sayid guarding the troops while he goes off to woo Sun over to his team. And while he's gone, Widmore's Commandos sneak into Camp Faucke, tranquilize the Fauckers, and nab Jin. When Faucke returns, he is devastated to learn Jin is gone. He and Sayid saddle up and head to Hydra Island to confront Widmore. But once they're there, we don't see Sayid, only Faucke. Faucke and Widmore have a pissing contest; Widmore denies kidnapping Jin; Faucke tells Widmore war is coming to the island and maybe just started, and then leaves. Widmore, by the way, very much has Jin -- in room 23, at the Hydra compound, but he's got a whole new approach to mind-control. He gives Jin Sun's digital camera that he found on Ajira 316. It's loaded with pictures of Sun and Ji Yeon which make both Jin and me cry, but shut up. Widmore says he too has a daughter, and tells Jin that if they don't stop Faucke from leaving the island, their daughters and everyone they know and love will cease to be.
Sawyer reminds Kate that he's not on Team Faucke or any other team, but he's got a feeling this is almost over. He's assuming Team Widmore took care of things. Just then, Faucke returns without Jin. In his own indirect way, Faucke lets Sawyer know that he's dispatched Sayid to find out what's in the locked room on Widmore's sub.
Team Widmore: It seems Zoe (Liz Laura Roslin Lemon) jumped the gun on nabbing Jin. Now Widmore has to improvise. He tells her to bring out the package from the sub. The package isn't a what. It's a who. DESMOND! Desmond was too heavily medicated on his trip over, so when Zoe and a crew member drag him off the sub, Desmond collapses on the dock. In the water, Sayid is waiting. He silently swims over to Des, and makes oh-so-meaningful eyes at him. Dun. Bad Robot.
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Previously on Lost: In the Sideways Reality, Jin gets nabbed at U.S Customs with $25 grand in his suitcase, when anything over $10K must be declared. On the island, Richard freaks out on Hurley, until Hurley says the magic words: "Your wife sent me. [...] She says you have to stop the Man In Black. You have to stop him from leaving the island." Faucke sends Sawyer to Hydra Island, allegedly to do some recon on the Ajira flight 316 plane, but really, it's to scope out the sub and its occupants, particularly one Charles Widmore. Widmore's crew nabs Sawyer and takes him to the sub. Once in Widmore's quarters, Sawyer proposes a deal. He'll bring Faucke to Widmore's door, if Widmore will give him and his safe passage off the island.
NOW; Camp Faucke: Someone's watching the Fauckers through night vision goggles. We zero in on Sawyer and Kate. He hands her a cup of water but tells her to pretend it's cocoa. If we're pretending, James, make mine Kahlúa. When Faucke walks into view, there's a lot of static and the night vision cuts out. Now we're watching in living color as Faucke approaches Jin who is wrapping his leg. Since he reports that it still hurts. Faucke advises him to leave the bandage off for a while. "The air will do it some good." Doctors and wound specialists would disagree, but my Nana would totally agree and my Nana totally knew better, so in this one case, do what Faucke tells you, Jin. No wait. Maybe not. No offense, Nana, but usually, on this island, people heal right up. I'm thinking that's changed now that Jacob is dead. Also, I can't help but think about what Claire said about infection. Never mind, Jin. Keep wrapping your leg. Nana will understand.
Faucke cops a squat and asks if Sawyer filled Jin in on what he saw at the cliffs. Jin: "You mean the cave? The one with the names on the wall?" Faucke explains that most have been crossed off now. There are just a few left -- Kwon is one. Faucke just doesn't know which Kwon. What he does know that the only way "we" can leave the island is if all the uncrossed names go together. Jin: "But Sun is not here." Faucke: "You just take care of that leg. I'm working on it." Claire sits nearby -- all wig of wingnuttery, and ears.
Sideways; Airport: Customs releases Jin and returns to him his suitcase and watch. But the $25Gs? Federal law says they must confiscate it. To get it back, Jin must fill out the paperwork, and of course Jin-Soo "No English" Kwon, and Sun "No English" Paik really aren't up to that task. In Korean, Jin frets that he missed the meeting Pa Paik arranged for him. He explains to Sun that her father gave him the money to deliver along with the watch. Jin doesn't ask Pa Paik questions. At their hotel, Sun checks in and is given a beautiful ocean view suite on the 8th floor. Jin does his best pidgin English. "Two room. Two." The desk clerk is all, "Um..." Jin points at the vacant real estate on his ring finger. "No marry." The clerk finally gets it, and finds Jin's room -- number 842.