As a young boy, Daniel Faraday is not only academically inclined, he's also a gifted musician. His mother, Eloise Hawking, being a beast from Hell, makes him give up music to concentrate solely on his "gifts," because she knows sod-all about child development or the effect of music on the mathematical area of the brain. And as a young man, when Dan graduates Oxford, his mother, Eloise Hawking, being a beast from Hell, expects him to give up women and concentrate solely on his "gifts," because although lovely, she has a shriveled-up prune for a heart. Of course, his current squeeze is Theresa, his lab assistant whose brain he'll eventually break, so maybe Ma Faraday has a point. As an adult, after Daniel breaks his own brain (the first time), Charles Widmore, who funded the Theresa-breaking research at Oxford, recruits him for his expedition to Craphole. He promises the young man, who is weeping over the tragedy of Oceanic Flight 815, that going to the island will heal him. Daniel's mother, being a beast from Hell, later encourages her son to take the trip.
During Daniel's first time on the island, before he lost his love Charlotte to the magical hemorrhagic jetlag that seems to kill those who return to Craphole, he tracked down Desmond Hume and told him to find his mother, the beast from Hell, and enlist her help. And then Dan got stuck in 1977. And then he left the island on the sub, but came back, still to 1977, which is now. He gets everyone's knickers in a twist -- particularly Jack's -- when he tells him that Eloise was wrong, and Jack et al were never supposed to be there. Oh, and he freaks out Miles when he tells Dr. Chang that Miles is his son and that there's going to be an "incident" at the Swan. Chang, unsurprisingly, doesn't believe him, since he changed the kid's diapers, just that morning.
Juliet and Sawyer, who have Phil tied up in their closet, tell the Lost-aways and Freighter Folk that they've all either got to commandeer the submarine and get out of Dodge, or they've got to take off for the jungle. Jin won't leave the island if there's a chance of Sun. I guess he's a tanorexic. Hurley agrees. Daniel explains that today is "incident" day. He wants to find his mother Eloise Hawking (young Ellie, from "Jughead"), because although she is a beast from Hell, she's the only person on the island who can get them back to where they belong, and by "where," I believe he also means "when." Jack and Kate decide to go with Faraday. Juliet breathes a sigh of relief that they're splitting into separate groups, because Sawyer calls Kate Freckles in front of her, like a big old dummy. Miles, Hurley, Jin, Sawyer and Juliet decide to stick together and take off for the jungle and eventually their beach.
On their way out of Dharmaville, Daniel talks to wee Charlotte on the swing and says all the things he swore he wouldn't, and cries at her, too. Then he, Jack and Kate take guns and a car from the motor pool, arousing the suspicions of Radzinsky, who tends to shoot first and ask questions later. There's a shootout, but our trio escapes with only a graze to Daniel's neck. They make it out to the pylons and, using the code Juliet gave them after Sawyer aroused her ire, they cross over to the Other side. Meanwhile, Radzinsky and crew go to Sawyer's, find Phil in the closet and there's a little fighting there, too.
On their trek through the jungle, Daniel explains that although whatever happened, happened, now is their present, so anything can happen. He was always concentrating on "the constant" and forgot about "the variable" until he read this week's episode title. All the people from 2007? They're the variables -- humans with free will. You know how that goes. Daniel wants to detonate the Jughead, blow up the Swan and release/destroy the magical magnetism or whatever over there, thereby preventing Ocean 815 from crashing in the first place. By the look on Kate's face, I reckon she remembers she was bound for prison back then, and is kind of happy that she didn't end up behind bars other than those of the polar bear cage on Hydra Island back in 2004. Jack's still not thinking, so to him, it sounds sorta keen.
Meanwhile, in 2007, it turns out Ben actually did shoot Desmond. While Penny and little Charlie wait out his surgery at the hospital, they're visited by current-day Eloise Hawking, who tells Penny it may be her son's fault Des was shot. After the "OMIGOD UR BEN LINUS'S MOTHER?!"/"OH HELLS NO, I'M DANIEL FARADAY'S MOTHER!" exchange you'd expect, Eloise apologizes that Des has become a casualty in a conflict bigger than any of them. When Penny asks if Des will be okay, Eloise says that for the first time in a long time, she has no idea what will happen next.
Outside the hospital, Eloise meets up with Charles Widmore and gives him Des's status (which is stable, yay). She encourages him to go see his daughter, but Widmore whines that he had to sacrifice their relationship. Eloise jumps all over the word sacrifice. "I had to send my son back to the island, knowing full well that..." Charles interrupts her. "He's my son too, Eloise." So? She bitch slaps him.
Back in 1977, Daniel barges into Camp Richard, gun drawn, and demands to see Ellie. He finally sees Richard, who says he can't reach Ellie right now. Daniel reminds Richard of how they met and says he wants the hydrogen bomb. He threatens to shoot Richard, but BOOM Dan is shot from behind! By his MOTHER! Beast from Hell. As he dies -- or "dies" -- he chastises her for knowing what was going to happen to him, but encouraging him to come to Craphole, anyhow. She sneers, "Who are you?" like beasts from Hell do. Daniel gasps for air. "I'm your son." Then the tiny light behind his eyes is extinguished. At least for now. DUN! Bad Robot.
So we got our 100th episode of Lost on the 100th day of Barack Obama's presidency. Which of course means absolutely nothing, but to celebrate, I'd like to order 100 bottles of beer (from over there -- on that wall), please. I've got a toothache and a bunch of dentist appointments in the coming days. I want to be sedated. Can you believe it's been 100 episodes, though? Does it feel more like 200 or 50 to you? Lost and I have are always breaking up and then getting back together, so I can't decide We have been solid as a rock this year, though -- or at least as solid as the four toes that are left on the ruins of the statue. Oh, that brings me to my latest crackpot theory: what lies in the shadow of the statue? The fifth toe. Thank you. I'm here 'til Saturday. Enjoy the veal.
Previously on Lost: Daniel tells Desmond to find his mother at Oxford. At the church in L.A., Benjamin Linus asks Eloise Hawking what will happen if he can't get all the Escape-aways to return. Eloise says, "Then God help us all." From the Long Beach Marina, Ben calls Charles Widmore to inform him he's going to kill his daughter Penelope Widmore Hume. He shoots our Desmond. Penny cries out his name just like we do and now it's time for...
Currently on Lost; 2007, Mainland: Not to go all Sawyer on you, but son of a bitch! Ben Linus really did shoot Des, because Des is being rushed into the hospital and then into surgery, and it's touch and go as to whether he'll live. Right now? I'm so glad Sayid shot Ben -- even though he was dressed up as a wee Harry Potter at the time. I've decided that's just his oddly humanistic Horcrux. Penny carries little Charlie Hume on her hip as she asks the hospital staff for answers they can't yet give. So she comforts the tot who is screaming, "Daddy," by telling him Daddy will be okay. Oh my, Penny, I hope so. I truly do. Eloise Hawking approaches mother and son in the hospital waiting room and comments that the boy has his father's hair. Penny has no idea who this woman is, so Eloise introduces herself and then apologizes, saying she's afraid her son is at fault for Desmond's current condition. Penny's all -- get back evil beastie, you're Ben Linus's mother? And Eloise is all -- ew, take it back. Take it back. Good heavens, no. I'm Daniel Faraday's mother. They play the music of Cindy, This Is A Huge Revelation, but um, not really, Show -- not for anyone who's not Penny. [Yeah, couldn't they have hidden her face for a while? - Zach] The screen fades to black and then a title card appears which reads...