So much going on in this two-hour season finale! Its enough to make someone's head spin. At the Orchid station, Jack and Sawyer find Hurley, and see Locke doing some gardening. Over some ancient crackers, Hurley asks Sawyer about Claire. Awkward. Locke tells Jack not to leave the island, but if he does have to be his idiot Jack self, that he should lie. Locke also says "It's not an island... its a place where miracles happens." That's explains SO much. Then Jack, Sawyer and Hurley take off for the helicopters and Ben (after escaping Keamy with some help from Kate, Sayid and the Others) finds his way back, and the power hungry duo head down into the bowels of the island. Locke gets to watch another Dharma video, and learns about the vault, which is apparently what makes time travel possible. Then Keamy (who is back from being momentarily killed) comes in with his transmitter that will blow up the freighter if he dies. Ben kills him anyway -- payback for his daughter. Locke looks pissed, but Ben shrugs and dismisses Locke and tells him to go rule The Others. Ben blows a hole in the wall of the vault, grabs a jacket, heads into a frozen room filled with hieroglyphics, and curses Jacob's name while turning a big wheel and moving the island.
At the helicopter, Hurley, Sawyer and Jack rejoin Kate, Sayid and Frank Lapidus, and they chopper off to the boat. There's lots of longing and staring between Jack, Kate and Sawyer. Then Frank realizes that they're losing fuel from a stray bullet, so they start chucking all the excess luggage. When that's not enough, Frank says they need to lose another couple hundred pounds, of course the camera zooms in on Hurley, but thankfully none of the others glare at him. Sawyer whispers sweet nothings in to Kate's ear and jumps off into the ocean. The rest of the gang lands on the boat where Desmond is trying to wave them away. Michael and Jin have been desperately trying to stop the C4 from exploding, with no luck. So Frank tapes the hole in the fuel tank and Sun, Kate, Jack, Desmond, Aaron, Sayid and Hurley get on the chopper. Michael has a vision of Jack and Claire's dad telling him he can go now. Jin makes a run for the surface, but just misses the chopper and the freighter explodes. Sun screams a lot.
On the beach, Daniel's ferrying people back and forth. Charlotte mysteriously says she's going to stay until she finds "where she was born." Miles is also going to stay, and Juliet isn't leaving until everyone is off the island. So Daniel's takes off with a bunch of the no-names in the boat. Sawyer comes swimming up to shore (he ditched the shirt, but he's wearing his heavy jeans... which are remarkably difficult to swim in) to see Juliet slugging back some rum and staring at the puff of smoke in the distance that used to be the freighter.
Back on the chopper, they've got a bit of fuel and are heading back to the island when there's a bright radiating light and the island disappears into nothing. Gone. Boom. With no fuel left, the chopper crashes into the ocean, and the group piles into their life raft. Desmond needs CPR and seems to have a head injury. They float for a while in the dark, then see a light off into the distance -- it's a boat! All of a sudden Jack decides to take Locke's advice and instructs everyone to lie. Strange. They're picked up by Penny's boat. Cue a romantic lip-smacking reunion between Desmond and his constant, and a "we have to talk" from Jack. One week later, Penny, Des and Lapidus ditch the Oceanic Six near a populated island 3000 miles away in order to "protect" the people they left behind. Jack tells Desmond not to let "them" find him. "I'll see you in another life, Brother."
In flash-forwards, we see Kate and Jack (still at the scene of the first flash-forward from last season) arguing about the funeral of a one Mr. Jeremy Bentham (who?), and how Jack has fallen for his story. Sun confronts the elder Mr. Widmore in London, saying she wants to do business with him. Interesting. He wants to know her motive. So do the rest of us. At the nuthouse, Hurley gets a visit from Walt (who is like 40 at this point), jokes that he's so big (ha!) and Walt wants to know why the six have ignored him, what's the deal with his dad, and why everyone is lying. Excellent questions. Then Sayid sneaks in later at night (looking all hot with sexy long hair) and takes Hurley away from his chess game with the imaginary Mr. Eko whisking him away to someplace "safe." Kate's home alone, hears a noise, gets a strange, inaudible phone call and runs to Aaron's bedroom where she sees a luminous-looking Claire over his bed warning Kate not to take him back. Then Kate wakes up and goes and apologizes to a sleeping turniphead. Back at the funeral parlor, Jack breaks in during the dead of night in order to get a better look at Jeremy Bentham's corpse. Ben comes in, freaking Jack out. Jack says that "Jeremy" told him that bad shit had been happening since they left and he needed to get back. Ben gleefully tells him that they all need to go back, it's the only way. This includes the corpse, a.k.a. the body of one Mr. John Locke, who apparently traded one philosopher's name for another. And we're done for the season, left baffled and confused with more questions than answers until 2009. -- Angel Cohn
We pick up right where we left off... a year ago. Kate is driving off as Jack yells that they have to go back to the island. But this time, Kate stops the car, backs up, gets out, and starts screaming at Jack: "We have to go back? We have to go back? Who do you think you are?!" She's mad because he's been calling her for two days, high as a kite, and then confronted her with an obituary for "Jeremy Bentham." Who is this, you ask? Hold on for a couple of hours and you'll find out. Kate continues: "When he came to me and I heard what he had to say, I knew he was crazy. But you? You believed him. Him, of all people." So, Jeremy Bentham is someone whose word should not be trusted. Doesn't ring a bell. Jack tells Kate that he believed Jeremy Bentham because he was told that was the only way he could keep Kate and Aaron safe. Kate slaps him. Not because that justification for believing Bentham didn't make any sense, but because she doesn't want him to say Aaron's name. Apparently, the little tyke is still missing Jack's crappy bed-time reading skills. Kate: "I spent the last three years trying to forget all the horrible things that happened on the day we left." And we spent the last three months waiting to see what those things were. Kate says there's no way she's going back. She gets in her car and drives off. In next season's finale, we'll see her do a u-turn and come back to yell at him some more.
Island. Jack and Sawyer trudge through the jungle. Sawyer asks if Jack's sure they're going the right way, and Jack notes that Frank said the soldiers were headed northeast. Sawyer's worried about Jack, who is still visibly bleeding around his stitches, but Jack claims he's fine. Just as Sawyer prepares a sarcastic rejoinder, Jack shuts him up -- they've arrived at the Orchid. Sawyer asks what the plan is. Jack starts to tell him when they hear a snap behind them. The whip around and level their guns at... Hurley, who is peeing on a bush. Well, at least he didn't have to worry about peeing his pants when the guns came out. Hurley is like a little puppy, excited that Sawyer came to get him. He's less happy to see Jack. I guess leading the movement to go with Locke instead of Jack has left some bad blood between them. Sawyer asks where "he" is. Cut to the three of them walking into the Orchid, where Locke is looking around with a perplexed expression on his face. Jack and Locke exchange awkward greetings.