Lost
Two For The Road

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So glad to have you back, Michael

Good Morning America is still doing that thing where they try to entice you to watch by having a "Lost secret scene" that is so relevant to the show that it didn't actually air during the episode. Nice try, ABC.

Even killer cops gotta pay the bills, so here's Ana-Lucia scowlingly working as an airport security passenger screener. She glares at the next passenger in line so hard, you'd think it was anybody's fault but her own that she's here.

Presumably (hopefully) off shift, Ana strolls into the airport bar, where Jack's dead daddy is sitting, and ready to hit on her. Ana asks the bartender, whom she knows, for a tequila tonic. Jack Daddy seems surprised at the drink order but acknowledges that it's been a long day. Nope, twenty-four hours, same as usual. "Good to see you again," he says to her surprise, until he explains that she "wanded" him. He asks how one goes about becoming a "wander." Hopefully it involves not being so damn condescending. "One stops being a cop," says Ana, which is this amazing coincidence for Jack Daddy, who just stopped being a doctor. "My son ratted me out for drinking on the job," he whines. He says this as he accepts another drink from the bartender, so I hope Ana gets the idea that this wasn't exactly some frame-up. She chuckles, and the doctor agrees that him losing his licence is "hilarious." But she says, "I don't believe parents and their kids should work together. Too many issues." Interesting theory, Ana. I have this alternative theory wherein cops don't execute criminals and doctors don't get wasted when they're on duty, but if you want to blame those trifling little "issues" on parents working with their children, well, bottoms up. Ana asks where he's headed, and he tells her Sydney, and then he asks her if she wants to come, and he's serious, and she wants to know why she'd do that, and he spouts some nonsense about fate putting them together so they can help each other. "You do need help, right? Unless you don't." She thinks about it. And he explains that what he's doing in Australia might be dangerous, so he'll be in need of protection -- perfect for an ex-cop. Instead of telling him to get lost, Ana says she doesn't even know his name. He gets all evasive and says they shouldn't use their real names -- because that would make this vague, possibly illegal job even more attractive -- and they'll pick names for each other. "You look like a Tom," says Ana, whatever that means, and he praises that "excellent name," and tells her she looks like a Sarah, which, probably not coincidentally, is the name of Jack's wife.

Back on Craphole Island, Ana is sitting just off the beach, examining the gash in her forehead in a mirror shard. Libby strolls up, sees the wound, and gasps, wanting to know what happened, like from the sound of her you'd think Ana was missing an arm or something. Ana, thinking quickly, says she cut herself shaving. From the look on her face, either Libby doesn't believe Ana, or she thinks it's really gross that Ana shaves her forehead. Ana cracks under the silent, open-mouthed interrogation of Libby, and says the guy in the hatch tried to kill her. "I'm okay. But he won't be," she says. Libby considers this, then advises her not to do anything stupid. Fat chance of that happening on this island. This island is like a seminar in good decision-making.

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Lost

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