Commercials. Seth Stevenson is crazy: Those new Burger King ads creep me out.
Jack wants to know why Kate's so loaded for boar to go off on this hunt. They banter inconsequentially for a while until she reveals Sayid's antenna, which he's asked her to set up. "This isn't about boars," Jack says. Kate replies, "I'm a vegetarian." Who ate bacon one episode ago.
Walt wants to know why he can't come on the hunt. Mercutio resists the obvious temptation, to bring Walt along as bait, and instead looks around for a babysitter. He pulls aside Sun and, speaking very loudly and slowly and throwing in extraneous hand gestures, asks her if she can look after Walt. Look, I know that for financial reasons and for reasons of streamlining the storytelling, the makers of Lost can only focus on the fourteen or so primary characters, leaving the other thirty-odd survivors to be background and occasional bit players and Iron Giant chow. I am willing to suspend a little disbelief and not be bothered when it's always characters we know who happen to find themselves in the middle of things. But are you really asking me to believe that Mercutio couldn't find anyone else among the survivors to look after his child besides Sun? Not, for example, a babysitter to whom he could actually communicate his wishes? That there is a marriage of contrivance, that is. Anyways, Sun responds in Korean, of course, and my friend Denny, who speaks Korean, tells me she says, "You've seen me naked, [Mercutio]. Why won't you take off your pants?" Mercutio, for some reason, believes he's gotten through, so he gives the okay sign with his index finger and thumb. Oh, that's pretty universal. Walt protests that he doesn't need a babysitter, and Mercutio gives the extremely parental excuse that Vincent the dog needs Walt to stay. Are we sure he's never spent time with a kid? Sometimes he's a natural! Sun turns to Walt; according to my friend Denny, who speaks Korean, she says, "My husband's turgid sperm has never impregnated me, so my womb cries out for you, darling boy." "Whatever," Walt replies.
Claire shows Jack a wedding planning scrapbook she found in the wreckage. The couple pictured, she says, were sitting behind her on the plane. Jack hands it back, curtly telling Claire he doesn't understand what he's supposed to do with it. Claire tells him that some castaways were hoping Jack could lead a memorial. This is actually the first moment in the first four episodes in which I got kind of interested in Jack, I guess because he clearly wants no part of a memorial service. I like what a dick this makes him seem. I also like the fact that Claire realizes there's no reason she shouldn't perform the memorial service. After all, she's a licensed ship's captain.