Lost
Lost

Episode Report Card
Dan Kwa: B+ | 1026 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
I Wanna Touch You Outback

Flashback. Initech break room. Locke and a buddy are sitting at a table playing some kind of Risk-type game, although to make it more clear to the audience that it's a nerdy war game they're playing, the normal game pieces have been replaced by actual green plastic toy soldiers. Locke tells his friend that patience is the hallmark of a great leader, and is interrupted once again by jerky Dave Grohl, his boss. "Tell me more about being a leader, Locke," he says, placing a single coin in a vending machine and pulling out a candy bar without making a selection first. Thanks for the free candy bar, TV show prop people! Dave Grohl continues belittling Locke, telling him that despite his nickname of "Colonel," he found out Locke's never been in the armed forces. Locke tells Dave Grohl he's just playing a game on his lunch break. Dave Grohl pulls out a brochure he swiped from Locke's desk and asks him, "What's a walkabout?" He reads from the brochure, and then says, "So you wander around, hunting and gathering food, right? On foot?" Locke tells him he already made his reservation. "You're really doing it?" asks his friend. "Did you tell Helen yet?" The thought of Locke with a lady makes Dave Grohl chuckle. They really could have dialed down this character and not harmed the scene in any way. Especially considering what we later find out about Locke. I mean, Lumbergh was kind of a tool, but he didn't actively belittle the disabled. "Why do you torture yourself, Locke?" Dave Grohl asks. "Imagining you're some hunter? And walkabouts? Wake up! You can't do any of that." Locke cites Norman Croucher, a double amputee who climbed Mount Everest. Or rather, whom Locke says climbed Mount Everest, but who, my research reveals, actually only climbed to the top of 26,901-foot Cho Oyo in Tibet. What a fucking wuss. Anyways, Dave Grohl calls him an old man and stalks out. Oh, first he boxes Locke's ears, sets fire to his tie, and pisses on his leg. "Just don't tell me what I can't do," Locke says.

Lost

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