Lost

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Cindy McLennan: A | 1 USERS: A+
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K-k-k-katie

Island; 1977: Jin returns to consciousness when Phil calls him over the walkie. He tells Phil he was attacked by the hostile, who is now headed north. Jin stops answering Phil when he spies wee Benjamin Linus lying in a pool of his own blood on Jungle Road. He rushes to the boy and turns him over. Ben's voice is thin as he pleads: "Please...help." And, Show? What is UP with making me care about him? Jin probably feels the same way, but in manly, suffering silence, he and his cheekbones carry the boy to the VW Bus. Jin rushes him back to...

Dharmaville: Horace gives everyone their disaster instructions and informs them that the Hostile (Sayid) has escaped, and probably created the burning-bus-into-a-cabin diversion as cover. Since no one has paid Jack any mind all season, he decides to draw attention to himself, which is always a great idea when you're living under an assumed name in a place where you really wouldn't be welcomed if the townies knew your true identity. "If he was locked up, how could he start the fire?" Horace is all, "And you are?" Jack tells him, then adds a lame little, "I'm new," like you do. Horace says well, n00b, it looks like one of us let one of them out of one of our cells. And why can't you people read the FAQ? Gah. Jack tries hard to look contrite or dumb, or possibly both, so Horace turns his attention back to overseeing the chaos.

Meanwhile, Roger "Workman" Linus mistakes Kate for a member of the motor pool, because that's her cover, and asks her to operate a winch. She mishears his winch, thinks he calls her a wench, and breaks his neck using only her pinkies and stunning good looks. Ben miraculously heals and grows up to be amazingly well-adjusted and they all live happily ever after. Or possibly Kate looks terribly confused, so Roger knows immediately that she has no idea how to operate a winch, but she's so pretty and Roger hates Dharma so much that he doesn't care. I mean, look at his own history. He's such a braintrust that he took his very pregnant wife on a hike, causing her to go into labor and die during childbirth, and yet he didn't get his pick of Dharma assignments. Why should anyone else? Roger shows Kate how to operate the winch, and they begin to haul the VW bus out of the cabin, but then stop either because the cabin is going to collapse or because it's hard to make time with a pretty girl when there's all that winching background noise. When he introduces himself to Kate, and she realizes she's meeting wee Hitler's father, she manages not to puke on his shoes, and ekes out an, "It's nice to meet you, Roger." Thank goodness she can scrunch her nose up in that adorable way so he doesn't notice her dry heaves. And thank double goodness Jin picks that moment to drive up and unload the dying wee Ben from his VW Bus. When they see the boy, Kate yells, "They killed Harry Potter! Bastards!" You probably didn't hear her, because Roger's "That's my kid!" drowns her out. He then surprises everyone by not finishing the job, but instead acting like he gives a crap about Ben, for the first time in his miserable young life. Roger runs off after Jin and Ben, and Kate whispers: Sayid killed Voldemort?! Cool. I totally should have set my sights on him instead of Dr. Jack and Mr. Snide, all those years ago in the future. And we jump to...

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Lost

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