Lost

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
K-k-k-katie

Hurley holds up his left hand, fingers splayed, and looks at it about the way a newborn does when he first spots those magnificent wavy things at the end of his arm. Miles says, "What the hell are you doing, tubby?"

HUGO: Checking to see if I'm disappearing.

MILES: What?

HUGO: Back to the Future, man. We came back in time to the island and changed stuff. So if little Ben dies, he'll never grow up to be big Ben, who's the one who made us come back here in the first place, which means we can't be here. And therefore, dude? We don't exist.

MILES: You're an idiot.

THE RECAPPER: Watch it, Miles. I love you, but you're no Hurley.

HUGO: Am I?

THE RECAPPER: Yeah, I was just calling you Hugo because it seems more respectful. Oh, you weren't talking to me.

MILES: Yeah. It doesn't work like that. You can't change anything. Your maniac Iraqi buddy shot Linus. That is what always happened. It's just... we never experienced how it all turns out.

HUGO: That was really confusing.

THE AUDIENCE: Yeah, well, get used to it.

MILES: Yeah, well, get used to it.

THE AUDIENCE: Gee, wish we'd said that.

MILES: The good news is that Linus didn't die, so that means the kid can't, either. He'll be fine.

KATE: Didn't look like he was gonna be fine. What if you're wrong?

MILES: Well, if I'm wrong, then I guess we all stop existing, and none of it matters anyway then, does it?

Sawyer shows up and interrupts my favorite scene, which annoys me, so I'm not going to give him a lot of face time here. The wee Sawyer who has been squatting in my kids' Fisher-Price castle with Fertility Specialist Barbie all season, squawks, "Cry me a river, Cindy Lou Boo Hoo," so I toss him, her and their plastic love nest in the cabinets under our window seat, and shut the doors. TV Sawyer wants Jack to help Juliet mend wee Ben. Jack's all Sorry, I'm a little busy what with being under house-arrest and all. Kate looks at him like How could you, Jack? Jack looks right back at her like Because I have a memory, Kate. Sawyer says Ben will die if Jack doesn't come with him. Jack says, "Then he dies," and the music swells up and out and into a commercial.

Dharmaville House Arrest House: Kate peers through the blinds at Sawyer and Roger Linus, who are conferring on the porch of St. Jacob's. She decides to use her never-known-to-fail feminine wiles on Jack. She finds him in the kitchen, making sandwiches. I wonder if he's auditioning for Hurley so he can get a transfer from the janitorial staff to the mess hall. Kate reminds Jack that currently, Ben is "just a boy" and that he can't just let him die. It seems Jack has completely bought into Miles' explanation of the Time Warp rules. "We can't change what's already happened. This has nothing to do with me." Kate suggests that perhaps Jack is the one who is supposed to save Ben. Jack reminds her he's been there and done that, right after watching her and Sawyer's Hydra Cage sex scene. He did it then for her, who wanted him to do it for Sawyer and he doesn't care who first said it, he's down with the idea that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is batshit insane. Kate says, "This is our fault," because they brought Sayid back. Really? I think Ilana and her boots would beg to differ. Jack doesn't even bother to correct her on that point. Instead he reminds Kate how he drove himself and everyone else crazy trying to fix everything the first time they were on Craphole. "Did you ever think that maybe the island just wants to fix things itself, and maybe I was just getting in the way?" Sawyer will have your back on that last part, Jack. Kate says she doesn't like the new Jack; she likes the old one. Jack says she didn't like old him, either. Point to Shephard. Kate storms out of the cabin, right past Miles, who yells, "Hey, where are you going?" but he's a little too slow [Slow? He's playing frickin' dominos with Hurley! - Z] and doesn't shoot her in her shapely, freckled legs. And we cut to...

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Lost

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