Whatever the Case May Be

Episode Report Card
Daniel: C- | Grade It Now!
Pulp friction

Shannon's reading a magazine, and Boone, God Help Me If I Refer To Him As Anything Other Than Boone, God's Friggin' Gift To Humanity stops by to sarcastically tell her how nice it is that she's making such good use of her time. Shannon wonders what he and Locke are doing in the jungle all by themselves all the live-long day. "Is he your new boyfriend?" asks Shannon, and Boone's lack of outrage at the suggestion has touched off a repetitive and pointless debate on Boone's sexuality, so THANKS A LOT, LOST WRITERS, and he says he and Locke are looking for Claire. "I thought there was no trail," says Shannon half-heartedly, and Boone, God's Friggin' Gift To Humanity says that at least he's trying to do something, and ridiculously asks Shannon if he's noticed the way the others look at Shannon and him, and says the others don't take them seriously (exactly what kind of treatment he's expecting from them I have no idea -- an invitation to join the Craphole Island Chamber of Commerce?), and he calls Shannon useless, and the three questions I have here are 1) Why doesn't Shannon just kick him in the nuts already; 2) What the hell are you talking about, Boone; and 3) shut up, Boone.

Nightfall, and Kate sits forlornly by a fire. Sawyer strolls by (in slow motion, for some reason), and Kate stares at the briefcase before shifting into the Thousand-Yard Stare of Impending Flashback…to a bank in New Mexico, where the helpful bank manager in New Mexico is processing the "loan app" of Kate, or as she's known here, "Miss Ryan." We learn that Kate is -- or says she is, which is a little more accurate -- a photographer commissioned to do a coffee-table book on old movie theatres in small towns. And the bank manager suggests one in Ruidoso, and "Miss Ryan" charmingly promises him acknowledgement in the book if she uses it. And immediately after he tells her to call him by his first name, the bank is overrun by a pack of armed ne'er-do-wells, yelling at everyone and herding the non-robber customers all together onto the floor. And if we didn't already know Kate was involved somehow, the way she alternates between appearing terrified and surreptitiously looking around is a dead giveaway. So the head bank-robber grabs the bank manager and tells him to open the money cage before people start getting killed.

Back on Craphole Island, Kate (and let's just take a moment to notice that Survivor Kate looks none the worse for wear than Bank Customer Kate) sneaks over to Sawyer's little piece of fuselage. He's sleeping, with the briefcase clamped between his knees, naturally. She tries to take it, and he wakes up, and she winds up on top of him, and they wrestle, and she head-butts him, and she orders him to give it to her, and he says no, and she walks away, and yawn. Commercials.

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