Walt runs to Kate to tell her that Claire collapsed. Mercutio and Charlie carry Claire under the canopy, and Kate gently brings her around while Mercutio steals her shoes. Charlie, looking for water, discovers that someone's ganked it all. When Kate tells Sayid and Locke, Locke volunteers to find water, saying, "I know where to look." Dude, on a verdant tropical island even I know where to look. Go to the head of a valley.

Jungle. A woozy, reeling Jack goes deeper into the woods, calling, "Where are you?" In flashback, a hotel manager tells Jack that his father hasn't been in his hotel room for three days. So that we know they're in Sydney, the hotel manager is given a comically overwrought Aussie accent, to the point that he pronounces "maid" as "moide." The manager goes on to tell Jack that security had to haul his dad out of the bar, and that he was too drunk to rent a car. "My father was a chief of surgery," Jack angrily declares, and the manager silently thanks the heavens he's never needed surgery in America. Jack finds his dad's wallet in the hotel room, and the manager suggests contacting the police.

Back inna jungle. Via patented ShakyCam Technology, we see Jack stumble in the jungle, following Paulie Walnuts. Finally Jack falls off a cliff. "[Grunting]," says the closed captioning.

Commercials. Hey, Pizza Hut: It's hard to imagine three corporate spokespeople/spokesplants more likely to turn me off your product than Audrey II, Deion Sanders, and Stuart Scott.

Back to Jack, who's dangling off a cliff grasping a vine. More [grunting]. I am sympathetic to Jack's plight; this one time, I went hiking on the Manoa Falls trail with my attractive lawyer wife and her mother. On the way back to the parking lot, other hikers pointed out a hanging vine perfectly situated for Tarzan-style swinging. I climbed up a little incline, grabbed the vine, and kicked out over the trail; alas, I immediately began losing my grip and, at the apogee of my swing, let go entirely and landed with a whump on my ass right in front of my unimpressed mother-in-law. The point is, vines are hard to hold on to. Jack is saved when Locke shows up and offers him a hand; Jack desperately grabs for his arm and is pulled back up. At that exact moment, Mount Doom explodes! Actually, more like Mount HoYay!, as Locke and Jack fall into each other's arms, both breathing heavily; Locke asks if he's all right, and Jack starts giggling like a schoolgirl.