Love Cruise

Episode Report Card
Kim: A | 448 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Dirty Dancing

The singles prepare for the black-tie dinner. Justin greets each couple as they arrive. In an interview, Anthony says, "Love doesn't really exist on the Love Cruise. Unfortunately, I'm beginning to learn the same lesson on the ship as I did in life: that people have agendas that aren't necessarily fair." Oh, poor misunderstood Anthony. Why don't you go write some poetry? In an interview, Laura says that she's sick of Anthony getting on her case, and she wishes he would step off. I kind of hate Laura, and I definitely hate Anthony. I hope they both fall over the side, and that the other singles hate them both so much they wouldn't even yell out, "Asshole and Skank Overboard!"

Before dinner can start, Toni calls for a toast. Man, she has a tight red dress on. God bless her. After they eat, everyone poses for photographs. Filler, filler, filler. Tony has ripped the cuffs off his shirt, and is now wearing only pants, cuffs, and bowtie, in the Chippendales style. He does have a good body, but I hope that he was drunk when he made that decision. Anthony looks pissed that he didn't think of it first, so that he could show off his ink. In an interview, Tony says that he's only slept with one woman, and that it was five years ago. There's part of me that thinks that is really sweet, and part of me that thinks he's a closet case. Tony grabs his partner, Lisa, and starts humping her. She screams annoyingly. In an interview, Tony says, "I do get lonely sometimes, but then...it goes away." Because he masturbates to gay porn. I'm sorry. It had to be said. Laura watches intently as Tony and Lisa spin around and then kiss. In an interview, Laura calls Tony an "amazing person." Laura feels like she could say something stupid to Anthony, but that if she said the same thing to Tony, it would be cool. So basically, Tony is dumb as a rock. Got it.

Love Cruise

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