Love Cruise
Dirty Dancing

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Dirty Dancing

The captain calls everyone up to the top deck to choose new partners. Justin welcomes everyone and congratulates them on making it past the first elimination. Justin accidentally says "Aruba" instead of "Loser Island." He's so fired. And let's go to Loser Island for a moment -- hey, there are the goats again. Because "goat" equals "loser," for some reason. Gina and Kenny G look miserable as they eat breakfast. Gina asks Kenny G what he's going to do that day, and Kenny G says he doesn't know, and that's the problem. Gee, what a hardship to be stuck in Aruba with nothing on your agenda. I feel so bad for them.

Justin orders all the men to the front of the room, and then asks all of the women to sit in chairs facing the men. Justin reminds them that the match is not official until the woman agrees, and then blows the stupid whistle I'm about to jam up his ass. The men slowly approach the women. Darin heads right over to Melissa, who I don't think I've really seen before. Anthony and Laura team up again. Tomiko and Adrian also stay together. Andrea (another blonde I don't know) and Ralph end up together. Toni ends up with a choice between Tony (the carpenter) and Greg (who?). Toni chooses Greg, because apparently Tony snores. Also, it would be annoying for Tony and Toni to be together. Everyone would be waiting around for Toné to show up so they could sing their 1990 hit, "Feels Good." And no one wants that. In an interview, Toni tells us that Greg is "an absolute smoking hottie," and she's psyched that he's her roommate so she can stare at him.

Lisa is once again left alone. No one picked her. In an interview, Lisa tells us that it doesn't feel good to be left alone, but that she has a different perspective on it now. Really. No, she really does. She's totally fine. Don't worry about her. Jeannette and Michael are a couple. Lisa says that she and Michael decided that they need to play the game and get to know other people (read: he ran away from her neediness). Lisa says that it still hurts, though. Why is Lisa on this show? Seriously, why would she go on the show? I don't understand what would motivate her to set herself up for rejection like this, since she obviously has a hard time with it. Since Toni dissed Tony, he's stuck with Lisa. Each of the singles is now part of a couple, so Justin announces that they will be having a black-tie dinner that night, and that they are on free time until then. The sails are raised, and I'm still not sure why they keep showing that, unless it's a sexual metaphor or something. Maybe it's shorthand for "It's on!"

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Love Cruise

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