Love Cruise
Garbage And Goats

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Garbage And Goats

Apparently, they are going to have a different credit sequence on each episode. I guess it makes up for the huge amount of commercials. Over the letterboxed shots of water, the announcer intones, "The power of words. In a game of love and money, the line between friend and foe is erased and an offhanded comment can be lethal." Tonight, rumors will run rampant. Aw, yeah. Two more people will go to the land of garbage and goats. Two others will come one step closer to winning $200,000 and a trip around the world. The announcer asks, "Who do you trust?" I would have to say that the answer is, "None of the people on that ship, and that includes the captain, crew, cameramen, and especially the producers."

Previously on Love Cruise: Adrian and Tomiko won the salsa contest, and Adrian got the Switch Card. Laura found Anthony "too intense" (read: too cheesy) and hooked up with Tony. Anthony took the opportunity to trash Laura completely to the other guys, and they voted her off. The women voted for Adrian so that he would have to use his Switch Card to save himself. Adrian chose to send Tony to the land of garbage and goats with Laura. Then Adrian gave a vitriolic speech to the effect that women want choice, but that when you give them choice, they just hand the decision back to the men so that they don't have to take responsibility. But isn't that their choice? Jeanette didn't like Adrian's comments, but Adrian wasn't having it, and gave her the buzzer, which was so rude.

Andrea talks to Adrian about his little speech. You know, if you close your eyes, Andrea's voice sounds exactly like Kathy Griffin's. It's eerie. I wish Kathy Griffin were on this ship, even though she's married. Did you know that her wedding entrance music was "Sister Christian"? That fucking rocks. Anyway, Adrian backpedals, claiming that he said "most women" are that way. In an interview, Andrea says that the women would have voted Adrian off whether he had the Switch Card or not. And speaking as someone who transcribed Adrian's speech word for word, he did not say "most women." And he can claim that he only meant the women on the ship, and not all women, but I still think he has some issues. Then again, so does everyone else on the ship. In an interview, Adrian says that Andrea thinks Jeanette should win because she has a daughter. But Adrian has a daughter too, and he's "a single...what?" Um, "father"? And by the way, great example to set for your kids by going on this show. Can you imagine going to school and being like, "Did you see my mommy on Love Cruise last night? She kissed that one guy, and then got drunk and threw up, and then talked behind people's backs. It was awesome!"

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