The overly dramatic credits ask us where we draw the line between playing smart, and playing dirty. There's a line? No one told me there was a line. Tonight, the remaining eight players will have a choice between staying with their partners and bringing back someone from Loser Island, which is represented this week by a mountain, or possibly a volcano. In Cabin Two, which is the only cabin door we ever see, we learn that someone is about to be sacrificed. Into the volcano, perhaps? I think instead of Loser Island, the people voted off should be tossed into a volcano. Now that would be exciting.
Previously on Love Cruise: Lisa kissed Michael while partnered with Anthony. Unlike what the narrator would have you believe, that has nothing to do with why Lisa was voted off, though. She was voted off because she wouldn't shut up about it. Adrian helped Toni to win the Switch Card, but then Toni wouldn't use it to save him. The narrator promises us "the shipmates' true colors [will] begin to emerge." You mean, some of these people have been less than honest about their motivations? I am shocked.
Round Five. Eight Singles remaining. In an interview, Michael explains that the "Chicago Four" is his plan to win. Melissa explains that Michael asked her to join the Chicago Four. Toni defines the Chicago Four as her, Melissa, Ralph, and Michael. Ralph tells us that Michael approached him and offered to include him in his "grand scheme" to win. Michael says that he's never spoken to Toni about their alliance. Ralph wanted Toni to take part, and Michael has been trusting Ralph to pass along information to Toni. Ooh. Bad move. A good dictator (and that's what Michael is, really -- and I don't mean that in a bad way) always controls the flow of information.
They are in Mochima, Venezuela. Ralph plays his guitar while Michael lies out in the sun. Michael voice-overs that he likes Ralph, because Ralph is able to separate friendships on the ship from strategy. Their plan has always been to make it to the final two couples and figure it out from there. In an interview, Ralph says that there is only room for two at the top (and I'm assuming that he means one couple) and that he doesn't like "sharing the limelight with anybody else." Michael suggests that he and Ralph play down their friendship today. Michael decides that he'll hang out with Anthony and the guys, and Ralph volunteers to hang out with Andrea and the other women. Meanwhile, Ralph keeps playing the same riff over and over on his guitar, like, play a whole song or something, would you?