Love in the Wild
Four Couples

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Showmancing the Stone

Last week, the producers tried to make the show interesting, since everyone paired up immediately and wanted to stay paired up. They needed to cast one homewrecker, like the awesome Toni from Love Cruise (and various other reality shows after that). These people are way too boring. Some are likable and some aren't, but there aren't any villains. How can you have a reality show with no villains? Ben is about the closest they have, and he's not really evil, just clueless.

So, after the mix-ups last week, everyone is back together. Heather and Miles are back together. Samantha and Mike are back together. Erica and Steele are back together. Skip and Theresa (who and who?) are back together, but they don't even show them going back to their cabin because no one cares. And for better or worse, Ben and Brandee are back together, although Brandee seems to have grown a spine a bit. A BIT. She's still with Ben. She's so pretty! And seems to have a sense of humor! Why???

Time for the next adventure! The couples have to track down five masks placed around the island and then head to the finish line. They each get a map that requires them to head to different first locations, but once they've got the first mask, they will all follow the same map, unrestricted to get the remaining four. That's smart, because it prevents people from just following another couple and then passing them just before the finish line.

I don't know if I've mentioned it, but the show has made a big deal about how Steele is cursed because he always comes in last or second to last. So Steele is in the ZONE! He wants to come in first. Ben and Brandee are not doing so well. They have to ride horses to their first location, and Ben is just bullying Brandee. He won't let her tighten her helmet and he yells at her when she has trouble mounting the horse. And then she wants to chitchat while riding to their location, and he yells at her again. He's doing a great job showing her that he really cares about her so far. Except the opposite of that.

Here's the problem with everyone scattering to different first locations that I didn't anticipate: We have no clue who is winning, so there is no tension. I mean, I'm sure they will create tension with the editing, but I like to at least have a clue who is actually in the lead. Speaking of no tension and boringness, Skip and Theresa are at the horses and their horses won't go. I think this is what they call "user error." Ben and Brandee are done with the horses and are hiking down to a waterfall. Ben is going a million miles per hour while Brandee is trying to fall and break her neck, so he helps a lot by yelling at her and nagging her. Anyway, they get the mask. In an interview, Ben calls Brandee "one hundred thirty pounds of dead weight." I'm sure she's thrilled that you either revealed or overestimated her weight on national television.

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Love in the Wild

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