Love in the Wild
Four Couples

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Showmancing the Stone

Mike and Samantha go to the Oasis. They're boring. Steele and Erica are in bed naked, so they probably did it. Except Steele feels like Erica is getting a little too serious, because she's talking about their relationship after the show. Steele is freaked out. He's never been in a relationship. That's a dealbreaker, ladies.

At dinner, Ben is badmouthing Brandee to the others, calling her dead weight and suchlike. Heather, who I think is the gossip of the group, runs right to Brandee and says, "I just wanted to make sure you're okay," which is gossip code for, "I wanted to get the dirt from you so I can go tell everyone else." Heather and Erica tell Brandee to lose the zero and...well, and go home. That's easy advice for them to give when Brandee dumping Ben won't affect the standings.

Skip and Theresa are making out in the hammock. Isn't that what they were doing last week? Boring. Moving on.

Ben, Miles, and Steele sit around the pool and talk. Ben might be up to shenanigans. He's telling the other guys that their time in Costa Rica is so intense that it feels like they are in months-long relationships already, but the women are even more attached and entrenched than that. Oh, women and their clinginess. Ben's biggest fear. Unfortunately for Erica, it's Steele's biggest fear also, so Ben's talk is kind of working.

The next morning, everyone is bored, and they start daring one another to do things like bite into oranges, stick tongues in one another's ears, and other summer camp pranks. Finally, Mike is dared to go in and hit a sleeping Steele in the head with a tropical fruit, which he does. And Steele has juice all over his head. THE END.

Brandee has breakfast with Erica and Steele. She's no dummy. I don't know if she's actually that calculating, but I hope she is. It might make this show interesting. Anyway, she plays the pity card but not in a whiny way, and says that she kind of got dumped with Ben because he was the only guy that was interested in her. Steele is like, "That's not necessarily true" and Erica is a dummy because she's totally not catching the subtext of this conversation. Then again, she doesn't get to see the edited footage like we do. Oh, but then Erica does get a little insecure, but she thinks Steele will stick around.

Samantha and Mike get a prize, which is to do a zip-line, which sounds super fun. I am not an adventurer. I would not bungee jump. But I would totally zip-line. And Samantha and Mike are totally in love, and boring.

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Love in the Wild

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