Love in the Wild
Four Couples

Episode Report Card
Kim: D | Grade It Now!
Showmancing the Stone

Ben and Brandee are hanging in their cabin. It seems like all of the men just lie on the bed while the women primp in the bathroom. These women are high maintenance. So Brandee is pissed about how Ben treated her during the adventure, and tells him that. Ben wants her to give specific examples of how he yelled at her, and she's just like, "I'm done. I've put up with a lot of bullshit from you and now I'm done." Ben doesn't seem to get it, but he also might not give a shit because he figures they're going home. Brandee slams the bathroom door and Ben doesn't get why she's mad, but he's sorry if he hurt her feelings. No, he's not. He's not sorry. He just knows enough to try to save face on television.

Everyone reports for the Couples' Ceremony. Steele claims he still doesn't know what he's going to do. Sometimes I feel like I am the only person in the world watching this show. I never see anyone talking about it online. I never hear anything about it in the world. Maybe it's all my fever dream. Maybe this show doesn't exist except in my imagination. Hello. Is there anybody out there?

Well, I guess I should tell you what happens. Mike and Samantha stay together, to the surprise of no one. Steele and Erica are up next. Steele says that he doesn't want Erica to get hurt after this, and doesn't want to lead her on, so he's going to ask Brandee to be his partner. Brandee is shocked, and she waffles for a minute and then says no. Wow. She just wants to go home. Steele goes to the unmatched area. Now Erica has the power. You know she's not going to ask Ben. She hated him a lot. So Erica asks Steele for round two and he TURNS HER DOWN. Wow. That wasn't boring. So now they're both in the unmatched area.

Miles and Heather are up next and they stay together. Theresa and Skip are up next and they also stay together. So now Ben and Brandee are up. It's Ben's choice and he admits that he likes Brandee but she might kill him if they stay together, so he asks Erica to join him. And she says no. Wow. Everyone hates one another. Now Ben is also in the unmatched area. Brandee says that there's nothing that Ben could say that would make her want to stay. So is she going to ask Steele to join her? No.

So, there are four people in the unmatched area and none of them want to be together. Can't the two girls team up? That would actually be kind of awesome. Stupid heteronormative show. Instead, all four of them are going home, and we're left with the three boring couples.

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Love in the Wild




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