Love in the Wild
Nine Couples

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A Bridge Too Far

Steele and Vanessa are packing and Vanessa says that she can sense that she's losing him. Why does she care? He's a giant hunk of lumber! She can do better, even with her camel face. Gah. Then she asks him to talk it out. They've known each other for like four days and she's acting like they're married. Steele just flat-out tells her that he's going to move on and Vanessa actually cries in her interview about how she made herself vulnerable and it backfired. And she doesn't deserve to be alone. OMG. I am vomiting over her. She needs to get off this show and go read The Beauty Myth and maybe He's Just Not That Into You and other things as well. She's killing me.

After the commercial, Vanessa is bitching to the other people about how Steele dumped her because of her "strong personality." Yeah, keep telling yourself, honey. Peter knows that his partnership isn't working out, so he latches onto Vanessa. She isn't crazy about Peter, but she wants to stay, so she makes an agreement with him to pick her so she won't go home. I think they both know this is a business arrangement. Meanwhile, Erica slept by the pool.

Mike and Samantha love each other. Booo-ring! The next morning, Peter flirts with Erica at breakfast, even though he made a deal with Vanessa. Ruh-roh! He definitely has more chemistry with Erica. Over at the Oasis, it's no longer midnight. So Adam and Kym take a helicopter ride over the mountains and whatnot. They agree that it's definitely nothing like Boston. No one had to pahk the cahr. They have a romantic meal, and Adam spends the entire time talking about his eating plan and calories in and suchlike. Then Adam brings up their partnership. Kym says that they did well on the adventure, but she has a connection with Steele and she'd like to explore that. Adam (oh, so sad) says that if things don't work out with Steele, he'd take her back. Oh, Adam. Then, it gets worse, because Kym is like, "Mmmmm, probably not." And Adam is still pursuing it! She doesn't like you! Stop it! Shave the stupid beard, skip your next steroid cycle and find yourself a nice girl that doesn't own a purse dog.

All these people do is eat. Last we saw, they were finishing breakfast, and now I think they're having dinner? Peter and Derek are having a heart-to-heart, and Peter admits that the only person he's interested in is Erica. Derek tells him to go for it and tell her how he feels. But what about Vanessa? What about Vanessa? Eh, who cares.

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Love in the Wild

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