Love in the Wild
Nine Couples

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A Bridge Too Far

Everyone gets ready for the couples' ceremony. Miles likes Heather. Adam is annoyed that Kym wants Steele instead of him, but he knows that he can pick whomever he wants, since he has the free pass. And he is ironing his blue silk shirt, so he is SERIOUS. And Peter likes Erica but has a deal with Vanessa. WHAT WILL HAPPEN? And what about Skip and Theresa? Remember them?

Time for the ceremony! Chaz or whoever reminds us that Adam and Kym can stay together or pick someone else, and they can't be refused. Kym gets to choose first, since guys went first last time. So who will she pick? Shocker! She picks Steele and he is "pumped," which makes Vanessa look like an asshole but who cares? Adam now has his choice, and he picks Heather. Aw, poor Miles. I liked them as a couple.

So now Jess and Peter are up, and they obviously both want to switch. Jess decides to ask Derek to be her partner and he quickly accepts. Jessica is giving Jess bitchface, even though she wanted to switch. And now who will Peter pick? He chooses the "funnest" girl there, and that's Erica. Ooh, Vanessa is PISSED. But THEN! Erica says no, because she's basically deciding to go home because she doesn't like anyone. She doesn't say that, but that's the gist. So now we've got Kym and Steele, Adam and Heather, and Jess and Derek. Peter and Miles don't have partners, along with Vanessa and Jessica.

Brandee and Ben get to choose next. Ben calls their arguing "banter." Brandee has first choice, and she decides to "stick it out with Ben." He pretends like anyone else would have him but he's going to "stick it out" with Brandee too. Theresa and Skip are up next. Really, are these actual people on the show? They stay together and yawn.

Mike and Samantha, the golden couple, stay together. Erica and Jason are up next, and we know they are breaking up. Erica decides to ask Miles, and he's obviously going to say yes, because he wants to stick around and try to get back with Heather eventually. Jason gets to pick either Vanessa or Jessica. If his lady says yes, they stay and the remaining two go home. If his lady says no, then I think Vanessa gets to pick next? I don't know. It doesn't matter, because she says yes. So that means Vanessa and Peter are going home.

Vanessa and Peter are going home. Vanessa reveals that Peter had an agreement with her and he effed everything up. Peter totally did, and he knows it. Vanessa knows that she came on too strong with Steele but she blames Peter for everything, because he's the worst. She's kind of the worst, too. She really needs to brush up on some feminism, I think. And swear off guys for a while. And cut her hair. And get a personality transplant.

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Love in the Wild

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