Love in the Wild
Seven Couples

Episode Report Card
Kim: D | 1 USERS: A+
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Romantic Spelunking

The previouslies are actually helpful on this show in that they remind us who these people are, because I find that I forget from week to week. Like, five minutes in, I'm totally engaged in these people and their problems, but then five minutes after the show ends, I've totally forgotten them again. So thanks, editors! Anyway, in case you're like me, here's the lowdown: Steele is terrible in challenges but the ladies love him anyway, and he dumped Kym to pick up Erica. Jason has annoyed every partner he's had, but Jessica sticks with him to try to stay in the game. Derek hooked up with Jess, but thought about trying to steal Samantha. Despite their fighting, Samantha stuck with Mike. And Miles and Heather were reunited.

After the elimination, Erica feels guilty for stealing Steele. He's a steal, that Steele! Sorry, I'm overtired. Miles and Heather have cartoon hearts floating around their heads. Derek actually tells the group that he almost dumped Jess and picked up Samantha, thinking that they could "circle back" later if things didn't work out. Everyone else just looks at him like, "Wow, you are an asshole. You don't say those things out loud." So then Mike finds out about these shenanigans and he has a bro-talk with Derek, admitting that he has a "connection" (ugh, the c-word) with Samantha. Derek can't believe that these people actually think they're in love, and I'm kind of with him on that. He needs to be sneakier about his dealings or he'll be going home soon.

Oh, Steele and oh, Erica. They get into bed together and giggle and fart around and then have what Steele refers to as "a little make-out sesh." Are we sure he's straight? Because I've never heard a straight guy use the word "sesh."

The next morning, it's Brandee's birthday so Ben decides to bring her breakfast in bed. Don't get all soft on Ben, though. He's only doing it because Brandee did it for him, and then he tells her that he spit in it and wants credit for it and tells her that she's getting old. I mean, he's joking, but not really. Brandee thinks they're getting closer. Closer to an abusive relationship, maybe.

Jason is trying to be romantic for Jessica, even though she's totally not interested in him and told him to slow things down. So he gets her a bouquet of flowers. Then while he waits for her to come out of the bathroom, he sits in the corner like a creepy stalker. He doesn't even say anything when she walks out. Jessica interviews that she needs a guy to be a slight challenge at least, and tells the other girls at breakfast that she told him to pump the brakes and he floored it. I mean, he's sweet, but she kind of has a point. And also, no matter what he does she won't be interested, so he needs to see if he can hook up with someone else. Maybe Brandee could use some romance.

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Love in the Wild

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