Love in the Wild
Seven Couples

Episode Report Card
Kim: D | 1 USERS: A+
Romantic Spelunking

Back in the meadow or field, Steele walks right by the ladder again, but luckily Erica spots it this time. Steele doesn't even see it when she points it out to him. I think he's untying it and still going, "What ladder? Where?"

Derek and Jess reach the next map first. Seriously, if I were Jess, I would be a little concerned about how badly Derek wants to win this adventure. He's got plans. Plans that don't include her. Anyway, now they have to walk into a cave and use their rope ladder to climb down into a lower cave, then find a waterfall and retrieve a stone idol (seriously, show?), and then climb up a different ladder to exit. I feel like the people that designed this adventure also worked on that old video game, Pitfall. Doesn't this seem like something you would do on NES? Except the people would be fuzzy blobs that semi-resembled humans?

So now suddenly everyone but Steele and Erica are in the cave. Even Skip and Theresa! It's cracking me up how much the show does not care about those two. They're barely ever on. This is the first we've really seen them featured so far. Everyone is really excited about exploring a cave, except for Ben, who is complaining that it's haaa-ard because he's too taaaa-aaall. Shut it, Ben.

Derek and Jess blaze through the cave and come out pretty quickly. Jess, of course, takes that as a sign that they should stay together, and not a sign that Derek is desperate to get rid of her. They read the next clue and find out they have to grab a horse, and one person rides while one person walks. I will die if one of the men rides and makes the woman walk. That would be awesome. They will cross a river and drop off the horse, then head to the finish line at a bar in town.

Everyone else must be through the cave and now Steele and Erica are looking for their idol. Except Steele doesn't know what an idol is. As Erica says, "Thank goodness he's pretty." For real. He doesn't know what an idol is? That's not exactly an SAT vocabulary word.

Brandee's on the horse and Ben is telling her all the ways that she's doing it wrong. Brandee says this is keeping her entertained and on her toes. Is she being paid? I hope she's being paid. I'm sad that there's a woman out there who thinks it's cute that Ben is such a juicebox.

Jason is having some trouble with his horse. It won't go. So they get passed by Ben and Brandee and Jason makes me laugh for the first time ever when he says that if you could punch a horse, he would, because that horse needed a punch. Come on. He's not really going to punch the horse. Jason has a personality!

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Love in the Wild




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