Love in the Wild
Seven Couples

Episode Report Card
Kim: D | 1 USERS: A+
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Romantic Spelunking

At the Oasis, Derek and Jess are getting wasted and then he gets her to take her shirt off so he can give her a massage. Derek interviews that, "shit's gonna go down." Well, that's romantic. So then they make out. They have a make-out sesh.

Steele and Erica try to figure out how they can stay. Steele knows that Jessica will pick him since she hates Jason, and he advises Erica to go after Ben since he and Brandee are always fighting. Erica's screwed.

The next morning, Jess and Derek go on their intimate fishing trip. It's intimate because they have to share a one-person kayak, so they're sitting on top of each other, which seems dangerous in a kayak. They're tippy.

At breakfast, Erica flirts with Ben, trying to convince him to pick her. She gets him alone and tells him that she wants to get to know him, but he won't commit to whether or not he'll pick her. Heather and Miles see this happening, and Heather tells Brandee that she needs to watch her man. Later, Brandee tells Ben that she just wants to know if he's going to switch so that she doesn't look like a fool standing up there. From what we see, Ben doesn't tell Brandee what he's going to do one way or the other, but I bet he did and they just didn't show it.

God, the run-up to this stupid ceremony is taking forever. Who will Derek pick? Just get to it. I don't need to see all of the couples getting dressed and putting on makeup for twelve hours. Blah.

FINALLY, it's time for the ceremony. If no one ends up switching, I'm going to be annoyed after all his build-up. Jess gets to pick first, and she wants to stay. Derek pretends like he's going to switch and then says, "It's fine." That's a ringing endorsement. The host has to ask if he means he wants to stay, and he does. Brandee and Ben are next. Brandee wants to stay, because she's co-dependent, and Ben says that while Erica is intriguing, he wants to stay with Brandee. Heather and Miles are obviously going to stay together, as are Mike and Samantha. Jessica and Jason are going to switch. Jessica picks Steele, and he says no. Holy shit. Did Steele just sign his own death warrant? So now Jason has to choose between Theresa and Erica, and he's already been partnered with Erica and she hated him. So he picks Theresa and she says no way. Theresa and Skip are next, and they're staying together. And Steele and Erica somehow got things to work out; they stay together and that means Jason and Jessica are going home. Erica can't even believe that she's not going home tonight. Me neither! I'm sad there wasn't more mixing up, but that last one was kind of a shocker. At least one of the Jessicas is going home, and we won't have to see Jason cry anymore.

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Love in the Wild

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