Since it's the final episode, they are reviewing the whole series in this "Previously On" segment and I seriously forgot most of these people ever existed. I was actually describing this show to my in-laws today and I told them about the episode where the producers forced everyone to switch partners and then everyone switched back to their original partner. And my father-in-law said, "That's nice" at the same time my mother-in-law said, "That's boring." They've been married over 50 years. Thank you and good night.
Anyway, in case you forgot, there are two couples left: Mike and Samantha, who have been together since the first day, and Miles and Heather, who are equally as boring. What differentiates these two couples? Nothing. No one cares who wins, do they? What would make you choose one over the other? It's two pretty brunette ladies and two generic semi-skinny dudes. Miles has sort of an upper Midwest accent. That's the only difference.
But the show needs to make you care, so they remind you that Mike and Samantha have won a lot of challenges while Miles and Heather haven't won any. So do you like winners or do you like underdogs? Let's watch both couples nuzzle and kiss in bed! That will help me decide who I like better. Samantha has some letters from her mom with supportive and inspirational words, and she shares them with Mike, and they're both all choked up and whatever. I don't care.
Meanwhile, Heather is annoyed that Miles is sleeping late on their final day. Not really annoyed. She mentions it. They also laugh and giggle while getting ready. So do you like mushy sentimental types or jovial non-serious types? YOU CAN ONLY CHOOSE ONE!
Finally, the adventure is about to begin. The host (Chip? Dale? Donald? Huey? Dewey? Louie? Where were Huey, Dewey, and Lewie's parents, by the way?). The couples have to run to a canoe and follow a map to some shallows. Then, they have to drag their canoes to their backpacks and set up camp for the night. (Isn't that called bivouac or some other crossword puzzle word? Oh, I looked it up and it's called portage. I'm dumb.) The next morning, they have to climb a volcano, where they will find a second map. Following those instructions will lead them to the finish line. And...go!
The couples swim to their canoes. Remember how Miles can't swim? And he has to wear a life vest? So that's impeding their progress a bit. And by "a bit," I mean, "a lot." Mike and Samantha are practically at the finish line before Miles gets to the canoe. I'm worried! (I'm not worried.)