Low Winter Sun
Pilot

Episode Report Card
62 USERS: B+
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Welcome to Detroit! Try Not to Die.
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

A man sits in a shadowy room, staring at nothing in particular, looking so sad that we might wonder if he could well be the unlikely lovechild of Brad Garrett and Eeyore. Jangly, edgy music plays as Eeyore Jr. contemplates the dark hopelessness of existence. Candles burn behind him, as if in a cathedral. A single tear falls from his left eye, gleaming in the faint light. He seems to steel himself, looks right at us, and then rises to his feet. As he leaves his flame-dotted sanctuary, it becomes apparent that he's actually in a restaurant, which, depending on the menu, may be just as worthy a place of worship.

He pushes through a door and into the kitchen, where Morgan Jones from The Walking Dead is waiting for him. Morgan takes a swig of liquor straight from the bottle. Eeyore Jr. does the same with beer. "Are you drunk enough?" Morgan asks. To kill zombies? "I don't think so," says Eeyore Jr., so Morgan hands him his liquor bottle. "Don't get so lit you can't do what needs doin'," Morgan warns him. Whatever they're about to do, Eeyore Jr. isn't quite sure he's up to it. Morgan has to talk him into it, reminding him that whoever's about to be on the receiving end of their doin' is a real bad man. Eeyore Jr. is still not sure, though. "There are lines..." he starts to say. Morgan gets right up in his face, looks up at him with pleading eyes. Are they getting drunk for a round of Gay Chicken? If so, I think Morgan is winning so far. "Folks talk about morality like its black and white," he says. "Or maybe they think they're smarter or they're at a cocktail party, they're actin' all pretentious and then they say it's gray." He oonches up even closer to Eeyore Jr., who's going to start getting drunk off his breath in a minute. "It's a damn strobe," Morgan says, getting on with his morality lesson. "Flashing back and forth and back and forth all the time. So all we can do is try to make it across the dance floor without trippin' over our own damn shoes, wonderin' why grown-ass people are wearin' pacifiers around their necks!"

He totally said the thing about the strobe lights flashing, but it was so evocative that I got lost for a little while after that. My attention, it was flashing back and forth!

"She's really gone?" Eeyore Jr. asks. "Don't keep doing that to yourself," Morgan says. But Eeyore Jr. needs the exposition to get himself ready for whatever it is they're about to do, so Morgan obliges him. He tells him about this big brute of a man named Brendan, charging through a house with beaded curtains in the doorways, because these seedy little places always have beaded curtains in the doorways. Brendan attacks a blond woman in her bed, pulling a gun on her. Morgan tries to stop him, but Brendan backhands him. "He really cut off her head?" Eeyore Jr. asks. "Her hands and feet?" Morgan's not actually 100% sure about that, having only heard it from Brendan after the fact, but he knows there was a lot of blood. Eeyore Jr. is almost convinced, but... "But what if I can't?" he asks. "Well, you tell me, Frank," Morgan says to Eeyore Jr. "Because you already had a second chance and he killed that." That seems to be the final push to get Frank/Eeyore Jr. on board. Morgan turns his attention a tank full of live lobsters. "Not that," Frank says. "Salt water. We can't have that showing up." Morgan is pissed because he spent a lot of time training those lobster assassins and now they're not even going to use them.

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Low Winter Sun

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