Wheels: "I think maybe I am queer for you."
Jerry: "Well, maybe I feel that way too, you pill popper."
Wheels: "No, I'm serious. I mean, I'm high as hell, but it gives me pause that I worry about you all the time and about your welfare all the time. I am watching the horses and that makes me happy, they run fast and then it all goes to hell, because I am so worried about you and where you are."
Wheels: "So why am I so intense about you? Because I am maybe gay. I am nervous right now talking to you about it, even up to the gills on Valium."
Twitch & Lonnie: Listen in, amazed! To be fair, it's because it is amazing!
Jerry: "Marcus, it would explain a lot. But you've never tried to fuck me."
Wheels: "Yeah, because I am in a wheelchair!"
Jerry: "There's fags in wheelchairs. There's even a Fag Wheelchair Olympics. But it doesn't count unless you try to blow me. Those are the rules."
Wheels: "I'm not sure I understand what you're implying, but I'm listening."
Jerry: "No, I'm just saying maybe you have never had a friend before, because you're so awful and because you have had to concentrate on taking care of yourself in that wheelchair."
Wheels: "It's true, I do hate my friends."
Jerry: "Listen, I was all set to go gamble today, but then I had to come back and check on you. So does that mean I am queer for you? Because I don't recall ever wanting to fuck you."
Wheels: "It's because I'm in this chair!"
Jerry: "No, it's because we are not gay. You are just high. Let's go have some breakfast. I'll get the boys."
Twitch & Lonnie: "We were not listening! To you guys being gay!"
Well, I guess this isn't the week to quit recapping the show, because that was brilliant. Every time you think you're out...
PORKY PIG & HIS JACKED-UP JOCKEYS
Porky Pig: "Come meet me at that one bar so I can pay you off."
Leon: "I'll just hustle my fat ass over there right now."
Ronnie: "Funny seeing you here at this bar, since we're both alcoholics."
Leon: "Hey, older guys whose approval I desperately need even though you aren't worth respecting."
Porky Pig: "Leon, remember Mon Gateau that the Degenerates bought? The good news is, you're probably going to be their rider."
Leon: "[Jubilant hoot.]"
Porky Pig: "There is also some bad news, but I'm going to spin it in a weird way."