Episode 5

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Heart Like A Wheels

Leon feels bad about not riding that very fast horse. Porky Pig is still being weird about that, but seems to be in a much better mood, having bet on that horse, and wants to share the money with his ex-wife, maybe have sad dinner or something sad. Wheels, on the other hand, begins to feel weird about the boys possibly trying to set him up with the wheelchair lady.

In the winner's circle, they take pictures of Gus while Ace stresses out about the injury. Escalante runs off to check on the leg some more, and Ace sends Gus to follow him and bother him some more; Escalante is in such a good mood that he even talks excitedly about how hard the horse was still running at the end of the race.

Jo tells them it seems okay, and Escalante tells them to go home and wait, but Ace and Gus decide to fight about who is going to stay and worry about the horse. Ace finally sends Claire home with Gus, after sweetly thanking her for coming to the race, and of course she awkwardly stumbles away after making some sweet faces with her beautiful face.


Jo: "Wait, so now Ace is just going to sleep his old ass next to that poor horse? How are we supposed to pretend this whole lie about Gus? Obviously Ace is in love and having a magical horse moment even in his sleep."

They are charmed by Ace's devotion, which in term makes them more charming. Man, for a show I was beginning to hate because of the boring shittiness of the people, this is absolutely the episode to watch.

Porky Pig weeps and shivers because his ex still isn't picking up.

Jo and Escalante cuddle and wait for news in the stable; Ace's horse nuzzles him awake lovingly, and Ace has the mother of all magical horse moments. It's like he goes into the horse's eyes and the horse goes into his eye and they have a tea party on a starlight night. And that's when he starts licking the horse's face.

Just kidding. I grew up around horses and I think they are pretty to look at, but the romance of horses is sort of overblown... I mean, everybody's different. And maybe I used up all my horse love when I was little, because check out this conversation I remember having literally dozens of times --

Teacher: "Jacob, I've got a book I think you'll enjoy reading."
7-year-old Jacob: "Does it have magical horses in it?"
Teacher: "Nope."
7-year-old Jacob: "I see. Does it perchance have regular horses in it?"
Teacher: "No, it does not."
7-year-old Jacob: "No thanks. Peace!"

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