Hadley's post-Huntington's diagnosis behavior of sex, drugs, and stealing the Clinic's IV fluids comes to light when her latest conquest has a seizure and becomes House's newest patient. House is thrilled to bits for the chance to dig into one of his Cottage's scandalous personal lives, and one that features girl-on-girl action to boot. Cuddy, on the other hand, catches Hadley trying to get over yet another night of partying with some IV fluids and demands she be drug tested. House totally undermines her authority and whisks Hadley away, only to fire her as soon as they leave Cuddy's office. Ha! And hooray! And will it last? Hadley tries to get her job back by coming up with the right diagnosis for her one night stand, and is able to correctly figure out she has cysts in her lung and save her from yet another treadmill test gone wrong. It doesn't get her hired back, but when the diagnosis ends up being a terminal illness, it does get her a new girlfriend or at the very least a partner in suffering. That is, until House realizes that the diagnosis is wrong and the patient will live after all, and Hadley goes back to her life of lonely sex and drugs. She also gets her job back. Booooo! In other news, Wilson is back at work but late for his first day after a secret morning meeting. House puts Lucas on the case, and he finds out that Wilson is dating a prostitute and has an IV drug habit of his own, which is so over-the-top that House knows Wilson is planting evidence to cover for something else. Wilson realizes that House will stalk him until he finds out, so he brings him to a baby store, where Wilson is helping Cuddy pick out a crib for the baby she's just been approved to adopt, thanks to Wilson's character reference that made him late for work. House isn't happy for Cuddy. In fact, he looks incredibly sad, most likely for himself. Babies are change, and House hates change.
Come back on Monday for our full recap. Until then see what ails the staff at PPTH.
Sexy music plays as we watch a couple make out in the blurry background of a shot. And then we realize the couple consists of two women, and that one of them is Hadley. And then they're in bed. Well, that was fast. Sorry, people who tuned in for the girl-on-girl action, but House is on at 8 o'clock this season and that's the best they could do for you. Hadley rolls out of bed and into her bathroom, being sure to put on a huge shirt to cover up. Her lady friend asks her to come back to bed. What a nag! Hadley asks for a minute, but the woman -- named Spencer -- will only give her twenty seconds. I don't think that's enough time to look at yourself in the mirror and feel dead inside, but it doesn't really matter in the end since Spencer loses track of the time when she seizures off the bed. She takes a lamp out on her way down, and after a second of being pissed off that the girl she brought home just trashed her apartment, Hadley springs into doctor action and calls 911. Of course, Cameron is waiting for them at the door to the ambulance bay, since she's the only person who works in the PPTH ER and thus works there at all hours. Cameron asks Hadley if Spencer has epilepsy. "She never said," Hadley says. Cameron asks what her name is. "I don't know," Hadley says. I do feel a bit sorry for Hadley. It sucks when your Walk of Shame leads right into your workplace.
Cameron is at her very Cammiest as she immediately reports to House's office to give him the case, thereby totally fucking Hadley over. She might have gotten away with this without House finding out, but now there's no chance. There will be many a differential diagnosis session peppered with jokes about this, I assure you. House has yet to realize the gift Cameron's giving him, as he's staring out his window and into Wilson's office. He limps away to escape Cameron, but she insists on following him, saying they've got a twenty-six-year-old woman who had a "tonic-clonic" seizure, which sounds like either a cool new alcoholic drink or a strange new purifying ritual from the people who brought you coffee enemas. Spencer also claims to be suffering from fatigue and had a retinal vein occlusion two years ago. House insta-diagnoses this as diabetes, but Cameron is ahead of him there and says the tests were negative for that. He's definitely interested in the case, but a loud thumping coming from Wilson's office is more pressing at the moment.
House enters the office to find Wilson lying prone on his floor, faking death from injuries sustained when his desk chair toppled over because a certain someone removed one of its wheels. House tosses Wilson the missing wheel and yells at him for being an hour late to work, therefore making House spend an hour staring out his window in the hopes of seeing the payoff to his practical joke. Thanks to Cameron, he missed it. Ha! Girl gets two seconds of screen time a week and she still manages to ruin everyone's good time. That is impressive. Wilson says he was at a breakfast meeting at some diner to tell his other employers that he won't be working for them after all. He sure did wait until the last minute to break that news, didn't he? Wilson then sees a present waiting for him on the floor: a doughnut and milk. He calls it a "nice touch" and takes a bite. House looks very pleased with himself and leaves with a "welcome back." Aww ... when he goes out of his way to give Wilson breakfast you can easily forget all those lunches he's forced Wilson to buy for him.