As Sutton primps for the ball, Laurel strolls in to be all, "So, I see your cruel, black soul is back." Sutton is shocked that everyone doesn't adore and worship her, and Laurel's, like, "You've been selfish, vindictive and mean your whole life, what did you expect?" She points out that she took the fall for Ethan about the laptop debacle of '10 solely because "Sutton" believed in him. Why couldn't she return the favor when it came to Justin? Sutton mutters to herself, "I don't know anything about sisters and suddenly she's the big expert." Laurel wonders who "she" is. Realizing she almost slipped, Sutton says she's talking about Laurel. Laurel accepts this, even though it makes no sense, because nothing makes sense in this world.
The doorbell rings. It's Ethan, who can barely muster the enthusiasm to tell Sutton she looks beautiful. Did I mention that Sutton is rocking a sparkle Band-Aid -- like the kind a four-year-old girl would wear over a booboo? It's the pièce de résistance on her plain Emma outfit, really. Kristin excuses herself, and Sutton tidies Ethan's tie while talking about how much this ball has meant to her since she was a little kid. It was like the height of sophistication and grown-up-ness. Ethan can barely be bothered to notice. Men (who abandoned your torrid and clandestine secret sexual dalliance to fall in love with your identical twin sister)! You can't live with 'em...
Club. During the presentations, we learn that Sutton's middle name is Penelope, and Mads' is Margo. Justin makes his way toward Laurel, but Kristin shoos him off with all the authority and dismissal of Violet, the Dowager Countess, from Downton Abbey. Way to grow a spine, Kristin! Across the dance floor, Ted lets Sutton slide for basically destroying the delicate balance of his life. He says leadingly, "I know sometimes you don't think I tell you everything." Sutton picks up the bait, but Ted takes one quick look at Alec before deciding to keep mum for now.
Ethan cuts in. Sutton is smug that Operation: Delay Public Break-Up succeeded, even more so when he indulges her desire to be dipped and twirled (not a euphemism). The she looks at Mads and Ryan Harwell and announces mischievously, "We should kiss." Ethan is obviously not into this idea, but she insists that their hall monitor of a homicidal maniac could be watching. He gives her a quick, uncomfortable peck. That will not do. She practically grabs his head and slams his lips into hers. He lets her have her way for several seconds before yanking himself. "There," she says. "Now there's no mistaking me for Emma." As if that were a problem. Ethan waits until the end of the dance before walking out and telling Sutton to come up with a lie to cover for them -- "After all, that's what your best at."