Ethan arrives as Sutton gloats that the present family drama has "nothing" to do with her -- even though it has everything to do with her! Ethan tells her his plan: They will have a massive, ugly public break-up at the ball that night. That way, he'll be free to skip town and take Emma with him. Sutton is left speechless (for five glorious seconds) as Kristin trails an emotional wrought Laurel out of the club and begs her not to get behind the wheel when she's upset. Laurel croaks at Sutton, "See what you did? Thank you very much." Ethan's all, "Nothing to do with you, huh?" Sutton thinks "squeaky clean Emma" would have confided in Kristin and Ted. Ethan cuts through crap and calls it like it is: Sutton ratted out Laurel and stirred up a whole lotta mess. Emma wouldn't have done such a thing, and that's why Laurel (specifically, but people in general) actually began to like "Sutton" in recent weeks. Now Sutton is on track to destroy all that good will in a matter of days. You go, girl! Seriously, go. No one likes you.
Cabin. Thayer has brought provisions, including double-stuff chocolate chip cookies. He claims Sutton told him to bring them, but Emma immediately spots that Sutton doesn't have the capability to be nice and/or metabolize carbs. Thayer admits the cookies were his idea. Emma mentions that she seems to be the only one still on the case about who tried to kill Sutton and/or where is their real mom and/or anything that doesn't involve Sutton going to the spa and being an entitled hussmunch. Thayer stops unpacking and asks, "What have you got?" Maybe it's just me, but his look of concentration in that moment was unsettlingly intense, straight out of the Alec Rybak school of creepy expressions. (I wonder if Christian Alexander has to spend hours a day studying Adrian Pasdar for this role.) His laser-like focus doesn't make it any easier for Emma to come out with her theory -- your dad is a sociopathic head case with a mile-long trail of clues and menacing looks leading to him. At least that's how I would have put it. Emma's a little more diplomatic. Thayer insists Alec, for all of his shittiness, isn't a killer. Jury's still out on that one (no pun intended).
Chamberlin home. Rebeccannie has called Mads over to approve of the outfit she's chosen to seduce Alec. Because that's not creepy. (Okay, I apologize for all the tangents in this recap, but I was Googling pictures of Charisma Carpenter last night -- don't ask -- and she really looked just like Alice Greczyn when she was younger. Seriously. Obviously that's not biologically possible unless there's some dark secret in Alec and/or Mads' mom's past that the writers haven't bothered to think up yet, but it certainly does keep that slightly sketchy factor shooting skyward. Annnnnnyway...) Mads continues to bitch about attending the ball with Thayer, though it mainly seems like a backdoor way to get yet another person to encourage her to ask Ryan. Which Rebeccannie dutifully does and adds in some schlock about how all the perfect couples in romantic comedies fight before walking off into the sunset together. Mads asks, "Is that's what's going on with you and my dad?" Rebeccannie tells her maybe. And by "maybe," she means there's 100 percent going to be some mutual manipulation and hate sex in their future.