The doorbell rings. It's Ethan, who can barely muster the enthusiasm to tell Sutton she looks beautiful. Did I mention that Sutton is rocking a sparkle Band-Aid -- like the kind a four-year-old girl would wear over a booboo? It's the pièce de résistance on her plain Emma outfit, really. Kristin excuses herself, and Sutton tidies Ethan's tie while talking about how much this ball has meant to her since she was a little kid. It was like the height of sophistication and grown-up-ness. Ethan can barely be bothered to notice. Men (who abandoned your torrid and clandestine secret sexual dalliance to fall in love with your identical twin sister)! You can't live with 'em...
Club. During the presentations, we learn that Sutton's middle name is Penelope, and Mads' is Margo. Justin makes his way toward Laurel, but Kristin shoos him off with all the authority and dismissal of Violet, the Dowager Countess, from Downton Abbey. Way to grow a spine, Kristin! Across the dance floor, Ted lets Sutton slide for basically destroying the delicate balance of his life. He says leadingly, "I know sometimes you don't think I tell you everything." Sutton picks up the bait, but Ted takes one quick look at Alec before deciding to keep mum for now.
Ethan cuts in. Sutton is smug that Operation: Delay Public Break-Up succeeded, even more so when he indulges her desire to be dipped and twirled (not a euphemism). The she looks at Mads and Ryan Harwell and announces mischievously, "We should kiss." Ethan is obviously not into this idea, but she insists that their hall monitor of a homicidal maniac could be watching. He gives her a quick, uncomfortable peck. That will not do. She practically grabs his head and slams his lips into hers. He lets her have her way for several seconds before yanking himself. "There," she says. "Now there's no mistaking me for Emma." As if that were a problem. Ethan waits until the end of the dance before walking out and telling Sutton to come up with a lie to cover for them -- "After all, that's what your best at."
Of course Thayer appears from thin air to ask her for a dance. As they head back in, we cut to Rebeccannie (with some seriously aggressive -- and perhaps clip-on? -- bangs) as she tracks down Mads inside. Each thanks the other for giving the necessary push to follow hearts and dreams and all that jazz. Alec walks up to ask Mads if she needs a hand with her beverages, and she's all, "No dad, you and Rebeccannie should go get champagne-wasted and hump, though. Tootles!" Seriously, the degree to which this teenager is pushing her dad's love life is bizarre, no? Mads excuses herself, and Rebeccannie can't resist asking what happened with Mads' mother. Alec says they agreed not to talk about the past. Rebeccannie thought that only applied to "that other past." Alec winks at her. Winks! Well then. Glad that's all clear now!