At the cabin, Ethan and Emma dance to no music in front of the fire. She wonders how the party way, and he's honest about Sutton's full-front lip assault. She realizes what an idiot she was, but he tells her they can worry about it in the morning. It seems their chastity grace period is over, and Ethan wants him some sumpin sumpin. Emma is entirely willing and more than able. I could bitch about how this moment, when her twin (whom he used to bang!) has just kissed him, is perhaps the worst moment for her deflowering ever. Or I could just let them be super-hot together. I chose option B.
Back at the club, Ryan has two trays of fondue-chocolate-covered strawberries in his hand as he comes across Sutton. He wonders where Mads is. Sutton treats him like crap, per usual, only this time it comes out that they were each other's firsts. In a rare turn of events that could have only happened once before she learned better, Sutton got hurt because Ryan was actually pining for Mads. So Sutton made his life hell by starting yet another lying game (this one involved a Harry Potter robe and a narc-out call to the cops, BAM!) that relegated him to the unpopularity hell out of which he's just managed to crawl. Now he's hot and in a tux and has the attention of the girl he's always wanted. Recognizing that her moment with the much hotter Ethan has passed, Sutton pulls a one-two-three of seduction. She apologizes, compliments his good looks now, then grabs one of the delectable strawberries and seductively runs it across her lips as she purrs at Ryan, "Just let me know when you get tired of Mads." Wow. She really is the worst.
Across the room, Ted approached Alec to ask him what's going on with Rebeccannie. As ever, Alec has to establish the pecking order first, asking, "Would that be a problem?" Translation: What could you do about it if it were? He doesn't give Ted a chance to respond, just a moment to let that sink in before he gives a litany of other reasons, some bullshit ("the past is the past") and some strategic (keep your enemies closer), as to why he is suddenly cuddling up to the person who holds their secret to their tawdry history as friends. Ted feels doubly snake-bit in light of Justin's revelations, but Alec assures him that things can and will end here. If they don't and "if anybody knew why you're scalpel really slipped..." the consequences would be dire. Ted is the last person that needs to hear this news, obvs.
Dan interrupts them to tell Alec about an "urgent police matter": His deputies found Annie Hobbs on a park bench near the Mercers' home mumbling to herself. He has taken her to Phoenix Presbyterian and put her on lock down per Alec's worst-case scenario instructions. Alec heads out to curtail the situation, but Sutton pops out from around a corner. She heard everything.