Previously: Long story short, it was pretty much the same old ridiculousness as usual, only they thought that Sutton was dead for 90 seconds and began to mourn her in the way that people mourned Andy Rooney and Steve Jobs, judging someone to be far more worthy of remembrance by the level of their pugnacious obnoxiousness instead of their actual character. That said, it was only 90 seconds before Sutton returned with a shit-eating grin on her face and an ax to grind.

Which is where we pick up. Sutton mocks Emma, Ethan and Thayer for being gullible enough to mourn her. Emma rushes toward her regardless, amazed and relieved that she's alive. Sutton remains prickly, at which point the boys (who are far less forgiving than their adoptive-system-abused counterpart) turn on Sutton and give her an earful of grief for pulling such an evil, sneaky trick. They show her the "You're next" note, the swath of fabric, etc. Sutton insists she didn't write it, then lifts back her conveniently placed bang to show that, indeed, there are malevolent forces out to get the Mercer-Sutton cohort. She's got a big ol' Harry Potter-esque gash on that pretty forehead of hers.

The gang heads back to the cabin. Because that's not a totally horrible idea. Sutton recounts the shadowy figure off-road driving extravaganza but can't shed any light on who jumped her from the back seat of the Mercers' spare car. Emma puts forward Thayer's theory that maybe Annie Hobbs was the person behind all this. Sutton is vehemently against that idea and insists that, actually, Annie was the one person who saved her.

Back at the Mercer residence, Kristin is wondering why she saw Ted's car at the club late at night when she was comforting Laurel over the break-up. Ted says vaguely that he was talking to Alec, and then redirects the attention to Laurel. Kristin admits their daughter is a heartbroken mess. Instead of letting things lie, Ted segues to Rebecannie -- who is presiding over a rough patch with its own share of teenage drama -- and basically tries to discredit her burgeoning relationship with Kristin. Kristin says the make-or-break scenario is afoot because Rebecannie has offered to step in for an annual ballet benefit that Kristin usually hosts with Phyllis (i.e. that Kristin usually organizes 100 percent and Phyllis is just... well... there). Says Kristin, "I think she [Rebecannie] really wants us to be friends." Ted pretends to be enthusiastic about it and not entirely suspicious. Kristin pretends to be enthusiastic about it and not entirely suspicious. And that, ladies and gentleman, is Suburban Socialization 101.