Mercer house. Laurel talks about how her band was hired to perform. She idly speculates that Rebeccannie might be knocked up. Ted and Kristin are both wildly uncomfortable, and just as quickly as she stirred up this mess, Laurel obliviously heads to her room. Ted tries to cover his own ass, telling Kristin that she won't have to worry about Rebeccannie now that she's getting married to Alec. But Kristin will never stop worrying. She stands with her back turned to Ted, her face crumpled with anguish. Seeing that she's not going to pander to his small talk, Ted shuffles off.
Rybak house. Emma is filled with regret for showing Kristin the locket. Thayer comforts her with a hug, and he has clearly started to develop feelings for her. Ruh-roh!
The next day, Sutton dresses Emma for Alec and Rebeccannie's rehearsal dinner. Emma is still uncertain how she's going to be able to crack the case over canapés, but Sutton's not really a details person. It's a lot of flash and chutzpah. Ethan appears in the doorway. Sutton gives him a come-hither hello as Emma self-consciously covers herself up with her robe. Ethan says he's stopped by to offer his help in disproving Rebeccannie's alibi for Alec. He'll break into Rebeccannie's house during the engagement dinner. Sutton relishes the chance to bring someone into her devilish plan, and Emma is too broken up to resist anymore. And it's on.
The Mercers arrive at the club that night. Ethan and Emma exchange a pained look. Ted barely has time to register that before Baz comes out and gives Laurel a kiss on the cheek. Ted's territorial dad act officially kicks into overdrive as he says wryly, "A lot of things happened in Coachella." He takes Laurel and Baz inside while Emma hangs back with Kristin. She wonders if Kristin confronted Ted about the locket, but Kristin blows her off and heads in.
Rebeccannie arrives and tells Ethan she's sorry about his break-up with "Sutton." He's, like, "Uhhhhh, okay. I'm going to steal your car and break into your house now. Buh-bye!"
Inside, Ted starts to make his toast, but Thayer cuts in to fulfill his Best Man duties. He toasts to love -- when it's quick like Rebeccannie and Alec, or slow (during this he pointedly looks at Emma) -- and to family and the future: "I for one can't wait to see what it holds." Emma makes cartoon bug eyes at this, but it goes over everyone else's heads. Next comes Ted. It's obvious from his first words that Kristin isn't going to make it through this sham, and when Ted says he hopes the new couple will be as good together as Kristin and he are, she quits that bitch. Rebeccannie runs out after her while everyone else collects his or her jaw off the floor. To love!